maps

I came home from a fun night at visuals to one lonely Christmas present under the tree. duh I immediately opened it to find my collection of maps had been restored! I lost a map of Chicago, Paris and Manhattan oddly enough in New York along with my favorite bookbag. Not gonna lie I still miss them. I love maps. I'll let the card my mother wrote with them tell you why - it's a perfect end to this day.

"Maps are great... inspiring adventure, independence and self-confidence. They allow you to dream while providing direction to your destination, just like God's Word." Abby's Mom (we love her.)

 I don't even have words to supplement this cuz it's just so true! I've always been a dreamer and my mom and I LOVE maps. Globes, vintage atlases, anything! I have 2 framed art pieces of Chicago in typography, 3 pieces I did hanging in my room I created in college, maps of places I want to visit someday...

When I'm overwhelmed I think of myself somewhere far away, where my problems have no place and everything is simplified.

Where do your daydreams take you?

Let there be peace on earth & let it begin with me

I sang that song in third grade in my church play*. I was a celebrity for like 5 months after that. It was SO. AWESOME. *evidence of said video recording will never be found. just like the white iPhone. it's a mystery. but seriously i did sing that song.

Merry Christmas everyone! This entire season induces a lot of emotions about your loved ones, significant others and ones lost. It seems like as I get older the more difficult Christmas becomes. Don't lose sight of the meaning of the season whether Jesus was born in the middle of July or in Africa... God loved the world and He decided to GIVE. Even if you can't afford presents this year you can give in other ways. Spend time with your family... including your grandma who has gotten to an age where she thinks she can say anything - including her thoughts on your non-existant love life. *hangs head* And thank God for them. Some people don't have families to celebrate anything with.

my mother's butter cookies (filter via Instagram) 

a year-in-review is coming along with my first knitting video! I bet I'm doing everything wrong, but if you could just not point that out? that'd be awesome. I have a feeling 2011 will be kind of epic. really i do. : )

all over the map

this is so random i had to go back and add bullet points just for a flow of some kind. my brain sometimes... it goes errrvrywhere!

• The past few days have been a rollercoaster! and I don't like rollercoasters! They SUCK! We knitted 85 things in like half a second and put them all in Etc., Inc. (my sister and niece). It's really taking off! Super. Excited! (take a look at the gallery here if you want to custom order anything!) 
• A few things have happened in my personal life that caused me to literally break down but afterwards a strange sense of peace came over me just kind of letting me know, again, "You're mine. I got this." Hear me out. I'm kind of stupid. God takes care of me. Left to my own devices I would be way worse off. God takes care of me. 
• I've started to take lunches to work. A world without Sarku is a MUCH better world I've realized. Also I love taking clementine oranges to work. They're so. CUTE. Part of my change1 initiative paired with frugality haha. If I buy something it'll be at Trader Joes getting an apple and hummus (oh hummus how I love thee...). I will sacrifice my parking space! (oh man. giant sacrifice inDEED)
• I actually had an entire entry ready about why I'm weird and I put in a mock q&a format but... if you know why I'm weird it doesn't make me weird anymore! That's no fun! Where's the air of mystery about myself! Ok in reality I'm really not that mysterious at all. I'm pretty transparent. I laugh too much. I'm awkward in social situations. I can ACTUALLY dance but I don't ever show it... I do the robot a lot to cover it up : ) That's how I roll. Awkwardly.
• I group hugged about 20 of my co-workers today which made me really happy. Oddly enough I've group hugged 450 co-workers before... because apparently that's what we DO. I love having a work family - I'm always so busy trying to push everyone away from my bubble that I didn't notice I HAD one til recently. It's pretty great. I'm full of bubbly love right now. And Reese's Peanut ButterTrees. (for the holidays.)
• I have an ugly sweater party coming up soon. Pictures (and hopefully a video) coming SOON! So excited guys. 

This post is so. Random. Also my mother just shuffled into my room and tried to get into my bed. She was shooed. I figure I'll just keep on the random track.

For this last random part of this entry, that I just realized has nothing at all to do with Christmas... Oops. Anyway for the last part of this entry I present an image:

How beautiful is this? There is never a point in time I will be able to move like this. I only dance like this in my dreams but... it's a huge inspiration to me. I think part of the reason why I enjoy drawing dancers so much is I know I can't move like they do. I take joy in studying how their muscles move. We'll see if a contemporary dance class is in my near future. *oh geeze*

g'night! 

goal #1

via modcloth.com

i want to wear this dress. i wanna command a room in THIS dress.

i wanna go on a date in this dress... *shakes head* did I just say that aloud? delusions of grandeur but it's true. 

i don't curse or anything... but i also secretly want a guy to cock his head to the side and say, "daaaaaaayummmmmmmm" when he sees me in THIS. DRESS. : ) that day is comin'. 

that is all. 

best of both worlds

No, this post has nothing to do with Miley Cyrus her alter ego Hannah Montana or her OTHER alter ego "hey I'm a skank!" so don't worry.

I've been posting pictures of my knits and baked goods all day on Instagram (my new favorite app for iPhone) and I was just called a homemaking hero, which makes me blush and laugh. I consider myself a strong, independent woman and artist who doesn't need a guy. I still think boys are still kind of icky and take too much of my time to be honest. I'd like to marry one someday but I am definitely not there yet. But I also am cultivating this STRONG love for knitting and baking at the same time. I am digging my toes into the domestic sand so to speak and am really loving it.

It almost seems like a contradiction, though! On the one hand I love the fact that I'm not defined by this domesticity and on the other I love that I'm GOOD at being a homemaker. I have a firm belief I will be an EPIC wife - I put babies to sleep while changing their diapers! COME ON! - but I also know I won't lose my identity when I do decide to settle down, get married and have a bajillion babies. Did I tell you I want a billion kids? I do. They're gonna dress themselves. I've already decided. They're also gonna be best friends with Kate's (coworker who doesn't have kids yet but will have AMAZING ones) kids. Just sayin.

Sometimes I'm embarrassed by the fact that I knit and bake so avidly. I mean really what 24 year old WANTS to stay home and temper chocolate? Who gets excited about mastering thumb gussets on a handwarmer? That's just the type of person I am. I'd rather feed my friends than go out to a club with them. and my knitted stuff is... well it's amazing. so there. I also don't think it's that wrong to know how to prepare a meal well, sew a button and hem pants. I dream of mixers, so what?! I also deeply love art & design, being a hipster in general and can throw a MEAN left hook (don't make me go there). I think it's just how God made me. I kind of freaking love it.

If I ever rename this blog I think it'll be The Feminist Homemaker HAH!!

inspiration & escape

Occasionally I'll get in a mood where I want to move and not tell anyone. I just want to up and leave and start my own bakery/knit shop/bookstore somewhere quaint, which seems extra lame but in my mind it's kind of awesome. I know I can't go anywhere or move anywhere or even DRIVE anywhere so... I'll just post pictures of things that kind of provide a visual escape. Thanks to Oh Joy! blog for providing these visually stunning images. Feel free to share... stare... linger... stay awhile. I wish I had some cookies otherwise I'd feed you. I'm baking tomorrow so I mean come over obviously.

wherever this is. i will go there someday. and sit next to this lady. and be her best friend.

i've never tried to do a watercolor but... this blows my mind.

by artist Dale Frank - like. no words!

and this bedroom from Anthropologie. 

but for now I think I'll sleep in my own bed... : ) g'night. 

all i want for christmas

IS THIS.

via graphic-exchange and photojojo

why yes that IS a good amount of the shortcuts for most things you do in photoshop and illustrator. oh. my gosh. salivating. so much graphic designer drool everywhere.

i also want all of Crayola's products. that just confirms my 5 year old artist status haha... yooou love iiiit...

change1

So the new year is coming up and my resolution is the same. every. year. Love God more! Lose weight more! Love me more! Hug some trees more! Pretty much just get off my lazy bum and BE more. and every mmm February 3rd I'm like... yeah... i... the end. HAHA

Well I kinda wanna get a head start right now and a name for what I am gonna do popped into my head - Change1. My downfall is I go from eating junk food and giant Coke's to keep myself awake to *WHAM!* eating 1 leaf of lettuce a day and hating life itself in a few short weeks. I'm going to change ONE thing. ONE. Not a multitude of things not even 2 things. ONE. and then once that thing is good I will add in another thing until i change my whole lifestyle of eating and exercise. Confused? Psh... it's not confusing!

I'm starting with pop. I was doing REALLY well NOT drinking pop until I joined visual overnight and pop became my BEST FRIEND. And McDonald's also having the fizziest tastiest coke for the low low price of only 1 dollar?! Really did me in. I mean it did me IN. For most people if they cut out sugar it's like the heavens open up and things are better! So I'm not cutting out sugar because I am a baker and that is currently a good portion of everything I eat. I'm cutting down pop to 1 meal. I really can't go cold turkey on this I'm setting myself up for failure. Weight loss is a slow process... it's also a process I can't finish without God so... I gotta work on that. A lot.

Once pop is completely gone - and I haven't gone too overboard on the coffee - and water is my bff then the rest comes... slowly but surely everything else does. Change one thing at a time. Focus on ONE thing at a time. I'm also not aiming for ultimate skinniness either... I used to but *rolls eyes* again it's too much to think of at once and I'm setting myself up for failure. I wanna go down one size : ) and then another. and then I'm going to stop. 2. that's it. then... maybe i'll lose two more later on but who really knows. 2! that's all! I like this! I like it already!

I used to hate resolutions because they always lead to NOTHING but... if I stop trying then I'm really screwed right? Most people are amazing starters and horrible finishers. I wanna be the person that finishes something. I will be the person that finishes something. 1 thing at a time.

and then I'm going to join a dance class.... did you hear that gong sound that just went off... i think that was the world going, "WHAAAA?!" i know right. we'll talk about that LATER. : )

like like can lead to love

whenever i happen upon that special guy hopefully i'll have learned the ukelele and will sing this to him. nay, we'll sing this awesome song TOGETHER*.





*this will probably never happen but it's just so CUTE. can someone teach me ukelele? plz?

plans

i was gonna name this post death cab for cutie? but not many people would have gotten the message that i was trying to get at the word "plans"... out with it. be direct haha

via graphic-exchange

WHAM!

Every Christmas do you feel the need to seriously BELT out the lyrics to Last Christmas by Wham!? I mean technically it's an 80's variation on an emo Christmas song but dang! It's amazing!

"my god I thought you were... Someone to rely on. Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on..." and all of a sudden you're kind of doing the running man and/or making a microphone out of your fist in your car. It's kind of great for such a sad song. Focus on the 80's dream of it and you'll be fine haha.

I can really say that it and Wonderful Christmastime by Paul Mcartney (so much Beatles) are my favorite Christmas song...

So everyone... what's yours??

rhode island or bust!

yeah right now i think i'm at the 'bust' part haha. things never go according to plan and after my savings have actually gone DOWN instead of UP i think i need to reshift my focus. I want a MacBook Air haha. I want it to be my supplemental design computer. Pretty much the internet. iPhoto. iChat. and Adobe Creative Suite. That is it. So I believe I'll be saving up for that and looking to 2012 for Rhode Island. I'm not happy about this... haha... but I probably need a better plan in place. Plus pretty much 2 years is a good long time to save. AND that way I can freakin KNIT up til that time! GEEEEZE knitting takes a long time GEEEEEEZE. but i love it haha...

Gonna go ahead and take down my banner for now *sniffle!* and make a pretty one all about fonts and giggling. or something like that you know me...

for now i'm still Abby : )... secretly 5 years old. and awesome. i squeak. i do, there are squeaks that come out of me. it's EPIC.

all gone

...apparently i don't sleep anymore. this is news to me. i'm all ready for bed but my brain's like, "Yeah see we discussed this beFOREhand?? and you're outvoted. AWAKE! suckaaaaa!" no but for real that's the exact terminology used.

So in this awakeness I get to ponder my WHOLE. LIFE. it's pretty short haha - it's mostly just series of failed relationships until i find another one that will fail from me pushing them away or them hurting me THEN i push them away. or it's me finding really sucktastic people. I would love to vote the latter but I think it's a mixture of both.

[in general - the past]
People make mistakes right? err'day. But if I get burned one time I'm done. There's no room for error no room for stupidity no room for ANYTHING I'm just finished cuz clearly that's all they'll EVER do in my mind. Granted looking back at all the relationships I've let go (and geeze-o-peets are there a lot) I actually didn't need them in my life. They really DID suck. So I mean that's good right? OK quick peek into my brain. When something happens where I end up hurt here's my thought process: The integrity I thought you had is gone so why continue communicating with you and deal with your foolishness? Doesn't make a load of sense? a lonely load of sense... I guess I just think why accept them back into your life only for them to do the same dang thing again? That's just stupidity on my part correct? I'm rambling only because I have no idea what the answer is...

[right now]
i'm working on it. i was hurt... and i've never EVER let anyone back in after that's happened. but... i was let back in after i did. so believe me... when i say i'm working on it... it's a big deal. a b.f.d.

also does the video for Imagine Me by Kirk Franklin make you cry EVERY TIME?! I see bits of myself in it every time I watch.

"Imagine me, being free, trusting You totally" - at the end of the day that's what 99.99% of things in my life boil down to. Trust God you idiot! wageeeeeze.

zomg someone knock me OUT already. my crazy late night ramblings must END! nnnnnnnnnow.
OH also i saw HP today and it was awesome. OKFORREALI'MLEAVINGBYE.

just one of them thangs

Thanks Monica for providing the slow jam lyric for tonights post.

I apologize in advance for the sappy things I may post. As much as I hate - and, yes, I do mean hate - feeling this way it is passing slowly but surely. My laughter is coming back. That laugh... if it ever disappears means I'm gone but never fear this time. I'm okay : ) I've also never been one to talk about matters of the heart or spout off the standard crap about situations like these. I just want to laugh. That's all I need to repair my insides; there's healing there. sweeet.... HAHA

I don't really have much to say, to be honest, except for a quote from my favorite youtube video called How to be Alone. It's good. I mean like REALLY good. scroll down a few entries and watch it. You will love it. Also, I finished Harry Potter again. The 7th book is kind of AWESOME and I am excited to go to the movies tomorrow. Have you ever gone to the movies alone? It's pretty great. It's not like you have to talk to anyone during the movie anyway so it's the perfect spot to sit for approximately 2.5 hrs and look at intensely attractive teenagers with accents fight the forces of evil. Right?! Awesome.

I am pretty much okay except for a case of slight heart ache but I'm taking the rest of this week of radio silence to catch up on knitting orders, attempt to intensely clean my room and put up Christmas decorations while blasting Vince Guaraldi on repeat. Quick shout out to my mother who doesn't read this and may never see this. It is because of her and because she loves God that I am the woman I am today, and a part of the reason why I'll be ok. Mamma didn't raise no fool : )

I'll leave you with said quote:
"Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements, like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them. but lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it."

untitled

why do i do this to myself? I have got to be the world's greatest living expert proficiently skilled in the art of fooling oneself. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why don't I recognize the signs? I get hit full force, full on by what can only be described as a fast moving freight train every time. I give up. Honestly I do. No more...  I think I'll stick to just being closed off for the rest of my life it seems to work pretty well. You can't get hurt if you never get close. You can't have any expectations shattered when there are never any set. You'd think I'd learn after the last 80 times things ended up the EXACT same way... Ah no... I'm finished with relationships and friendships and PEOPLE.

I give. up.

my heart feels like it's going to abandon my body and find a more worthy host. i don't blame it.

birds... fly to the stars i guess

I just wrote an entire post, published it and my weefee's went out. Stupid weefees.

my title is a quote from one of my favorite movies. Kudos to anyone who guesses it. No but seriously go get a Kudos bar if you guess it. Kudos bars are dang good.

I'm listening to the most delicious song right now. It makes me think of being in Paris wearing a red knit beret walking hand in hand with a guy and having French bread be our BEST. FRIEND. Take a listen. Or I'll be mad that you're missing out on this crazy awesome song. Seriously it's SO tasty.

Happy news friends! Blueberry Cobbler Knitting Co. is LIVE! In living color (except way less awesome than the tv show was)! We're selling our things in Etc., Inc. in Frankfort. You should totally go and buy everything which makes our life harder because we have to keep making things but it's still awesome because obviously we'll be THAT popular. It's obvious. A no brainer.

This means this will be the end of custom knit orders for Rhode Island. I can't take and finish orders AND make stuff on demand. I only have two hands and I'd like to NOT have early onset rheumatoid arthritis. I'm not sayin I'm just sayin. Baking list still comin though! It's so complicated to do this...

I... on a completely random and unrelated note the past couple days have been really... interesting. That is all. Goodnight

'If the stars were mine I'd tell you what I'd do... I'd put those stars right in a jar and give them all to you' SUCH a tasty song!

one saturday morning

what do you do when you don't post on a Friday night?.....yeah it's not that exciting you come home and post on a very early Saturday morning.

I met up with... actually I met up with like... all my favorite adults today haha. I am technically an adult but... if you meet me... I'm actually like a glorified 12 year old that has maybe been through some stuff. Ask around. They'll tell ya. Anywho I met up with Ms. Talese and Mr. Victor for a Panera date this afternoon. Um, I LOVE THEM. They're the kind of people you WANT to be around constantly because a) they're awesome and b) seriously they're THAT awesome. I used to work for them before Eden became Jonathan Kane. I've actually known them since 7th grade but I didn't KNOW them until a couple years ago. They're good people. Somehow... by some act of God they've chosen to spend extra time with me occasionally and I appreciate it. They have children! It's not like they need another! but like I said... I'll take whatever I can get... seriously love them.

And then I got to see RAAAAIYE! : ) She is my favorite. Ask me in person who my favorite is... I might start out with, "mmm... maybe Jam--" but then it's like DUH and I'll shout, "RAIYE. IT'S RAIYE." She's wamazing and her kids are awesome and somehow already cooler than I will EVER be haha. Coffee + knitting + Raiye = me immensely happy. forever.

Sidenote: I'm so ready for Thanksgiving. I can practically taste the dressing. Another sidenote: White people call it stuffing. Black people call it dressing. There IS a difference... because obviously dressing is BETTER. ha! Good night i'm hungry... dang.

We're gonna touch on my boyfriend issue... it keeps popping up randomly. For as long as I can remember I've always brushed off the issue of pretty much me never having a dude. *insert the Abby face here* I can blame it on the divorce and blah, blah, blah but I think it's cuz I just don't feel like dealing with the fact that a) it's not fun to talk about and b) not sure how to proceed on the issue. It's kind of an 'it is what it is' thing and that keeps me out of trouble. I don't EVER wanna be the girl that likes every guy and gets let down by EVERY. GUY. and maybe I'm just so anti "that girl" that it keeps me away from every guy. Did I mention I was closed off? Did I mention I push people away? Ohhh dear... well those will be addressed in another entry I'm sure. I'm awesome.

solitude is blessed and alone is ok

i love this. like a lot.

what to do when your iPhone is found after being stolen

an ode. in bullet points. by the way this is gonna be long. i have other things to say.

• you scream
• you freak out
• you scream some more
• you stare at it
• you scream
• you turn it on and realize that *first and last name omitted* has restored it into his iPod
• you laugh when you realize his iPod is filled with typical black folks music like Yolanda Adams, Chico Debarge, Trey Songz and not 1 but 2 of Fantasia's albums - yeah. that happened.
• You immediately take Maxwell, Jennifer Hudson and Sade's new album off the phone and put it into your library - thanks. : )
• You still want to punch a highschooler turned thief in the face AND pimp slap him with your ring hand (the right one)
• You search the rest of the phone and find the love note to Gabrielle in Notes. 
• You laugh hysterically
• you scream.
• You THANK. GOD. that your phone is back
• No really. Thank you, God. 
• you restore the phone. you RESTORE the phone. pray over the phone. erase the porn off the phone. RESTORE. THE. PHONE.
• you tear up when mobileme is added back and your beacon noise plays 
• you contact iTunes about the songs you lost - you rejoice when they do! (it was only 2... thanks iTunes mystery people!)... (but seriously have you ever SEEN a person that works at iTunes?! They're like magical music robots!)
• you track it with MobileMe... just so it can tell you it's in your house : )
• you scream before during and after tracking
• you pat your pants pocket often to remember it's there
• there's a lot of excited squeaks
• you toggle between apps and text everyone you know. know why?! CUZ YOU CAN!
• Angry Birds Halloween?! STILL IN THE APP STORE! YAAAAY!
• you scream. *squeak* scream.

I'm beyond happy. : ) I'm baking for the people that helped. Police station. Managers. Errrbody. 

Anyways I want to mention something completely unrelated. I was talking to a.favorite earlier about how his wife's hair color is like awesome and his response was, "I like it too. She's beautiful." and it just made me... completely melt inside because that kind of love is sincere and genuine. And it gives me hope for someday. Whenever that is... anyway back to phone happiness. HOORAAAY : ) 

friday night lights

I should just make a habit of posting on Friday nights because I will never DO anything on a Friday night. Not ever. on purpose.

In my boredom I began to think about all the things I wanted to do. Not just right now like the things I REALLY want to do. the... fuuuutuuuuure *echoes* woooooaaaahhhhh. After an eventful past couple days I've realized a few things. 1) I love children. 2) I am never getting a boyfriend. The two are completely unrelated but still very true. I had 3 field trips 3 days in a row this week and loved each one more than the next. The little girls... the divas that need braces but are the most popular (interesting how that works before 10... after 10 all bets are off.) and the little dudes who stuff their hands in their pockets, stare at the ground and look so dang adorable i can't quite stand it. Well... the boyfriend thing...

we interrupt this regularly scheduled blog time to bring you breaking news.

MY PHONE HAS BEEN RETURNED!!!!!

here's the scoop.

The police called me this evening to tell me that they had my phone to which I responded, "SHUT. UP. SHUT UP." then i promptly apologized for telling an officer of the law to shut up. He was nice. He understood. He didn't give me many details (I was so dazed I didn't want them) but the summary is... So you remember the people I originally thought took it? They didn't take it. It was a different guy... a guy I LOOKED IN THE FACE and asked if he had it and he told me no. They contacted his father and it was returned. If I saw him today it would still take a lot for me to not pimp slap him with my ring hand. It was totally God. I prayed... and I let it go. I HAD to cuz it was eating me alive! especially after i found out who ACTUALLY took the phone. I was LIVID. God just... was like 'don't sweat that i GOT this.' and took care of me! mind. blown. needless to say i'm really happy. excited to restore it and contact iTunes about the songs i lost annnnd yeah! *sigh* awesome. so awesome. God is good right? *pssst* the answer is YES.

Oh! I was talking about something completely different before this... oops! I'm too happy to finish now so I'll finish later. Future endeavors and stuff... we'll get to that. It'll be in some kind of bullet point probably haha

unspeakable things

This post is really random. It's about my love of ModCloth. I swear to bob if I was smaller I'd be SO BROKE cuz all my clothing would come from ModCloth and I'd be SUPER proud of that.

just a sampling haha

for a second focus on that coat. are you looking at it? is drool seeping from the sides of your mouth and your bellybotton? If I had children I would seriously consider selling them for this coat. It's. So. GORGEOUS. Every party dress, special occasion dress, omg-i-need-flour-for-these-cookies impromptu grocery store dress would come from here; paired with an awesome coat. Also who didn't know the word "occasion" had 2 c's and one s... i did not. anyway. I think that's a good goal. Get down small enough so I can wear a ModCloth large, which is like the normal worlds medium. Yay motivation! Omg I just glanced at that coat again and actually did the Homer "glaaaaauuuuugggghhhhh" drool. Can't. Even. Help it! BAH!

I also think it's funny that while I am probably the least girliest girl I know especially in comparison to say, girlGomez (I think I actually want to work for her someday), I happen to LOVE dresses and coats. I'm sure I'll still let out an outrageous burp... in that coat. I WILL get that coat.

What happens when your iPhone gets stolen

an ode. in bullet points.

• you cry
• you freak out
• you cry some more
• you track it with MobileMe
• you cry before, during, after tracking
• you imagine punching a 6 year old in the face when you never have before (ask me. it's within reason.) you imagine punching a highschooler turned thief in the face.
• you imagine punching an entire FAMILY in the face you apologize for thinking about punching an innocent family and their child in the face. sorry. about....that...
• you cry
• you're on the computer a LOT more aimlessly wandering between TopSites
• you forget to check your email for 3 days and when you do you have 29 in your inbox
• you sigh and stare off into space
• you pat your pants pockets often
• you get upset that you now have to redo all your achievements on Angry Birds
• you get upset because the Halloween version of Angry Birds is now gone from the app store
• you're glad you have MobileMe to contact your mother because you forgot what her work number is
• you lose communication with all of your work friends that have iPhones and don't know how to communicate any other way - it's hard to blame them because you were there but you're still sad and a little bitter about it
• you actually turn on Mail on your iMac because it'll send you the push notification of the beacon message being sent when they finally turn that dang phone on
• you cry
• you reconnect with AIM
• you post on your blog on a Friday night
• you realize what little social life you had before is now obliterated because you can't text anyone
• you fiddle with your fingers a lot
• you finish a knit hat within a day because there's nothing else to do
• you thank God for synching notes, bookmarks, contacts and calendars
• you feel disconnected from the entire world
• you cry. 

dires irae

Currently I'm grieving the loss of a good friend. That friend is a technological device that is able to be tracked and is currently in the possession of someone who doesn't deserve said friend, because they stole it. Who would have thought you could grieve the loss of an iPhone? You can. It's been a rough 24 hour period. I'm praying that God will restore property lost to me though. I'm praying that having something that doesn't belong to them makes them so restless and uncomfortable they have to find a way to get it back to where they stole it from - promptly.

My second grievance (actually it's not a grievance I'm just sad about it) involves my job. I was denied a position I interviewed... well this is the second time now and it's making me question my place in the company. Most of you know where I work. It's magical. I love talking to people and finding out about their lives and how what we make fits perfectly for them. It's interesting to find out the thing you enjoy doing is the very thing you're doing wrong. The thing you THOUGHT you had passion for someone gets to tell you, "yeah no this isn't it."and then they ALSO get to tell you, "oh but that wasn't a no!" and "don't be discouraged." and "I wanna help you find your place." How... do you expect me to not be discouraged when I'm either a) pissing off someone above me or b) just sucking THAT much. I thought I HAD found my place! Oh! Just kidding... no. Most people move on a fast track where I work. You come in you perform well and BOOM you move. I just am starting to feel like I have no value within the company and no path. I also don't want to quit (although today I thought about it about 15 times.) because I believe in what the company does. Apparently EVERYONE has a path even the people that didn't have a path totally found a path. Kinda feel like they broke the mold with me.

this all happened from 9 last night to today. so. you can sense my frustration and sadness (sadness is an understatement).  

into the thick of it

Before getting started I'd like to let you know that my header is totally a lyric from a Backyardigan's song. I'm not proud of it... I may have stumbled upon it whilst channel surfing one morning and never... turned... away.... OK ok let's get on with it.

a peek if you will...
I've come to a conclusion after 24 years of chick flicks, being the role of "best friend" for as long as I can remember and many many tearful nights over the DUMBEST things. Im gonna let you know that conclusion. It's one you're familiar with already. 


Guys can't be friends with girls. Wait... Scratch that... Reverse it. Girls can't be friends with guys. Here's why! :D!!


Girls can have an entire relationship dreamed up without ever holding hands looking at each other for long periods of time or even SEEING each other. It's cuz an emotional relationship always comes before the physical one. Whereas guys immediately head towards the physical and hit emotions later (maybe). Having only one successful guy relationship and countless failed ones there was one common thread. I knew too much. I knew the person inside and out; what made them tick, what made them laugh EVERYTHING. I'm practically all of Taylor Swift's songs inCLUDING the one where she specifically mentions Abigail - I mean come on!. Then after that emotional connection was made the natural progression was to want a physical relationship. It's natural! Except when you're friends emotional connections are continually made with no resolve. Enter every chick flick where the friend realizes she loves her best guy friend. MMMDUUUUUUH *taps head* duh. 


The guys that you're friends with usually have girlfriends or like YOUR friend. That physical connection is already taken care of which leaves the emotional part for the "bff". Enter the downfall of the female human race that thinks he'll wake up and see. Nay nay fluffy. Nay nay. (sorry Taylor.)


My one successful relationship is with my buddy Josh who is getting married this spring. I know him yet the emotional connection isn't NEARLY as strong as the one he has with his fiancé as God intended. Others I had a connection rivaling their significant others. Seeing a guy in a vulnerable state does something to both parties. It's dangerous territory, vulnerability. Its the fast road for smacking yourself in the head multiple times asking why you let yourself go there at all. First of all can I just say for a guy to look outside his relationship for a connection is ridiculous. For a girl not to recognize is also stupid. I'm a pot. I'm also a kettle. That kettle's black just like that pot haha. Scuse me... African American. Let's keep this pc obviously. 


It doesn't matter who the person is. You could not even be attracted to the person but it doesn't matter! Keep connecting enough and you'll fall for... anyone! Oh dear. Breathe in... exhale... 


Like the other 500 entries in this blog there isn't a point but I'm tired of being intensely wrapped up in a crazy emotional ride ending in heartache all the while masking as a friendship. If this came across as bitter and hateful I didn't mean for it to be I just think people don't know. And if you didn't know now you know. *the more you know music plays* 


Longest PSA ever right? I know! So sorry.  

super random

this may be really disjointed soooo BULLET POINTS! wahoo!

• I BAKED TODAY! I made Joy the Baker's (aka my BES. FRAN. no... no not really) chocolate brownies aka heaven on earth aka omg don't eat these if you have diabetes i'm not kidding. Bittersweet, dark AND milk chocolate were used in this recipe. Thoroughly. Pleased. 
• I really love to bake. Like, I never thought I would ever be in a kitchen for longer than 5 minutes. What started out with Joy the Baker's oatmeal has progressed into a true passion. I mean, really, it's about time. Have you met my mother?! Seriously the woman makes no sense with a spoon in her hand. Glad THAT gene kicked in!
• So there is a point, I think with everything where you're just like... DONE. No amount of talking or rationalizing will do and you're just finished. I'm one step past that point and it's a dangerous place to be. I'll say no more. 
• Why are McDonald's Coke's so FIZZY?! They're just so GOOD! and FIZZY!! 

did i NOT warn you this would make no sense? a peek into my brain folks. just a PEEK. 

life outside the bubble

Let me preface this entry with an explanation. Actually the explanation IS the entry not the preface. Ya know what I'm just gonna keep talking like the previous sentences didn't happen.

I loved Olivet. Like super extra loved it when I was there. Again it was filled with a lot of turmoil, a bunch of growth and more than half of it was band. I probably wouldn't change much except... well i bet you can guess. haha but anyways when I left I pretty much severed the ties that bound me there and moved on with my life. What freaks me out is when people DON'T sever those ties. I don't mean friends - dude I LOVE my Olivet friends. It's hard to explain. Everyone jokes that Olivet is a bubble... BUT IT'S A BUBBLE. When you're there you're like really HAPPY. I don't understand it but you just are... and that's great when you're there but it's not real.

A lot of development is made in college, which is exactly how college is supposed to progress but I swear to bob at Olivet it's different. You develop and then you arrest. It's like it stops. Just. Ceases. I've seen people be sincerely LOST after coming from Olivet because it didn't prepare them not one bit for reality. Awesome enough most of the friends I made happen to be the most grounded people I've ever met and Olivet's happy-go-Jesus-all-day-all-the-time mentality didn't stick. I love the people I met there but when I go back... my skin starts to itch and the walls close in and I have to leave the campus. Not just go outside for fresh air but outside the vicinity of Bourbonnais ITSELF. Cuz it's like a tangible mentality that starts to seep back in! And I remember "Oh hai, Abby, you live in the real world, have an actual job and are paying the loans that kept you here." and I'm literally RUNNING to my car.

I'm not saying that visiting is a bad thing nor am I hating on Olivet because seriously I love it... I'm not defined by it but it is a part of what made me, who I am! But it's weird when people's entire lives are now displaced without it...

this was a weeeird entryyy...

wading in the kiddie pool

I won't tell you how long it's been since I've actually done some heavy designing but I duo designed last night with a friend and... well there's mixed feelings. I'd love to completely gush about it and say it was amazing and why did I ever stop designing and where did I lose my creativity buuuut... I don't know! It was good! but... like inside I was SHAKING. Why? Maybe I just don't enjoy designing (aka making mistakes/trial&error) in front of someone else? I'm not sure.

The AWESOME thing was... the ideas just flowed! So I'm glad my brain isn't completely dead. That was a relief. My love of it hasn't gone away but my skills though... it's like I'm scared to touch a computer. Again when I'm alone if I don't know something? I'll get it done but just... in my own way. When you're with someone it's like I'm performing. Like I went to create an outline and my fingers hit my usual quick key for it and nothing happened so i freaked and stopped... If I was by myself I'd find that dang answer. I'm actually trying to right now haha.

I like the duo design (great name for a studio O.o??). it was like a brainstorm/creativity/design session all in one. And of course there was goofing around. For a good 15 minutes we just giggled about fonts. You can't do that with everyone haha... not everyone would get the humor in a FONT. But some people do, and those people are awesome - CLEARLY. Pretty sure D'Angelo was mentioned? But that's neither here nor there... details details *waves hand* I hope I keep doing this... I gotta wake myself back up! I've been sleep for too long.

Also Erasure's Always is playing right now in the salon, which makes me think of THIS. I'm peeing my pants I'm laughing so hard.

Hats for Baby Ella

I just finished my first knitting project, shipped, handled and all that jazz! I'm so excited. Baby hats are probably one of my favorite things to make... they're super quick and almost always turn out way more adorable than you ever expected... especially if you put a flower on them. hint: always put a flower on baby hats. it will turn even uncute babies (don't get me wrong... i love ALL babies but... i witnessed my first not cute baby and now i know. i've seen that light.) super cute.

A few quick pics for you.


yeah there's no way you can resist a baby in a hat with a flower. I'm not saying but really? I'm just saying.

for more information on how you can request knits and see what's for sale go here! for the complete story on why I'm knitting at ALL go here! : ) I'm also baking! That list is coming soon...

wordled

my plight! according to typography that... I didn't do but kind of enjoy cuz they're the colors of my blog haha... Enjoy!

here comes your man

my post title has nothing to do with this entry haha but who WOULDN'T get the Pixies stuck in their head?! i mean REALLY.

I just wanted to give a quick update to say that prices on knits will be changing. Hand knits are... time consuming! haha H&M can afford to sell $5 knits because they're mass produced in Malaysia by a machine. So to the people that already requested knits your prices will slightly change but in the future the price will be higher. It's like MobileMe... if you didn't pay for it... you wouldn't appreciate it as much.

Holy crap I just compared life to MobileMe... who AM i?! HAHA "what does it meaaan?!"

friends to know and where to go

Hey guys! Just a quick update on my journey n JUNK. Back to the Rhode Island grind today after a sweet financial talk from good friend Sarah. I'm currently knitting some SWEET baby hats right now. I'm definitely all about classic baby instead of cutesy baby. Cute but classic. Lasting.

Requests? Take a look at the list and either facebook message me or email me! Prices for the knitwear are next to the pics. The baking list... the beautiful baking list is coming soon! If it was at all possible to transplant Sweet Annie's red velvet cupcakes and have that be the entire list? I'd do that. But secret? I (and by "I" I mean my mother) make a MEAN red velvet cupcake. Just sayin'.

Back to knitting/writing. Oh life. It's gonna be an interesting next year haha

p.s. - yes my lyrics are from Reading Rainbow - because it's AWESOME.

from the blog Everything is Better with Bacon

the philosophy of hugs

I am a connoisseur of hugs. Please note that I spelled the word "connoisseur" correct the FIRST time I spelled it. And the second. Moving on. I call myself that because I assess how people hug. Everyone. All the time.

First, I really love hugs. I don't know why but I've been a snuggle bug since birth. I have to ASK my own mother to hug me. I mean it's not good. I would greet someone in a hug any time of any day. If I'm happy I wanna hug. If I'm sad I wanna hug. If I'm mad? Well if I'm mad I do NOT wanna hug. Don't touch me. I will kill you. BUT that's not the point. For the most part I'm always happy so I always want a hug.

I find that hugs open the door to awesome things. Back scratches, hair tousles, perfume smelling, beginnings of good conversations and ends to good conversations had I mean the possibilities following hugs are just ENDLESS.

Types I enjoy (you didn't think I'd go there... but I AM.): the mom hug: above the shoulders so your head ends up in the crook of your mother's neck. She birthed you. Your head just naturally fits in that space. It was specifically made for mom hugs and scientifically proven to calm you down in stressful situations and reminders that she is in fact your mother. Tests. Tests have been done. I'm lying. You believed me for a second though.

the guy hug/boyfriend hug: above the shoulders full on with accompanied two armed shoulder squeeze. the hugs that totally envelopes you and makes you feel... wonderful. they give me the tinglies. usually their head will rest on top of yours. short guys kinda miss out on the wonders of this because... they can't REACH your shoulders. fail. But a good hug? can render you speechless.

the girl hug: from the side, one armed followed by a short squeeze/back pat. Usually given to a guy that's a friend. Girl hugs to another friend that's a girl is full on with a back pat/rub. You've seen them. They're short in nature. Not my favorite.

the extended hug: my favorite hug. a hug that has no expectations or strings attached. huggin' for huggin's sake. feel free to take ten minutes from whatever you're doing to CONTINUOUSLY. HUG. afterwards... you feel like you took a power nap. for serious.

the Abby hug! my own special brand. It depends on the person if i go above the shoulders or not but i will ALWAYS give you a squeeze then scratch your back. The back scratch is actually my indicator to NOT stop hugging me haha. Most people think it's the indicator to stop. Lies. Opposite day. Keep going.

Test em out! No,  HUG it out. RIGHT. NOW.

(still on the road to Rhode Island! if you want more info go here and here! i appreciate the help guys!)

fact or fiction

Fact: When I go somewhere I look it up on Google maps and proceed to STARE at it for the better part of 3 hours. It's like I'm burning it into my brain. I don't know my way around the city but by the time I finish staring at that dang map? I SO do. ("I'm SO gonna agree to these terms right now??!" hahaha!) Also for someone who loves Chicago and general traipsing I HATE being lost. I like adventures but I like to know what's there so I don't freak out and cry.

Fact: I WILL freak out and cry if there is a change in plans or I feel out of control in a situation. I do this secretly. But it IS a fact. *The More You Know music plays*

This was random. I enjoy being random. I also enjoy attack hugs.

By the way I'm FINALLY knitting again! Of course I started with a friggin' complicated hat but I wouldn't have it any other way. So far I have requests for a few winter baby hats, a beanie and a scarf. I'm willing to knit up the world if you'll help me get to RI for the summer! Also the baking list will be coming out soon. Be excited y'all! Thanks for all your support guys I really appreciate it.

epic weddings and bon voyages

Hey guys, breaking from Rhode Island support (though if you want to hear about it read here!) for a bit to talk about the most epic wedding I've ever been to... EVER.

I'm pretty sure you've heard me talk about the wedding of my friend Katherine and how buh-freaking excited I was about it. Yeah nothing could have prepared me for the most beautiful wedding I've EVER. SEEN. pictures? pictures. GO.

can you see the three cakes? are you aware of them? CAN YA SEE THEM?! and the wreath?! MADE OUT OF BOOKS?!?!?!?! is your BRAIN exPLODING?! also there were tears on pictures 1, 2 and 4. I cried a good portion of half the day. I mean happy, "Omg how is this so perfect?!" tears. Yeah. I love them. It was kind of like the day didn't happen it was THAT awesome.

Move to Sunday! where we said goodbye to the coolest manager at the square. We said bye, took lots of awesome photos by Magali, ate lots of pizza and danced to... Neil Patrick Harris. Yeah that happened. It was grood work bonding. Did i tell you i loved my job? I do. totes magotes.

This weekend is Renegade Handmade and I'm just as excited! Artsy hipsters! ASSEMBLLLLE!!! Will post on that soon. Looking for some yarn to make some SWEET knits to help for Rhode Island! wahoo!

love for sale

Here is a selection of knits I will be making. I will also be taking special requests to anyone that FB messages me or emails me - otherwise there will be set things I'll make in a series of colors. I also make baby blankets, mohawk hats (only for Raiye...) and tea cozies... only cuz i enjoy typing and saying the phrase 'tea cozy'. Better yet just come over and have tea with me. Before that take a look at the knits you totally want (don't deny it!) THEN come over and have tea. I'll bake for you. (click on any image to make it larger!)

Hats (the slouchy awesome kind, the mustache kind, the baby kind) 

Scarves (cabled, ribbed, striped, plain, fancy, double long or airy!) 

Handwarmers and armwarmers (preeetty much just like a scarf for your arm. it's slightly more awesome) 

Cowls - i really like these... they're like mini scarves - my sister also enjoys making them - oh and that's my niece Autumn aka the model for all these lovely knits - she'll be taking over IMG soon... when she learns how to walk in heels. workin. on it.

Legwarmers - do not under any circumstances underestimate the AMAZING COMFORT of these legwarmers. Made from 2 soft knits they're stretchy and durable and... like a tiny fuzzy monster of love is hugging your legs. Leg Love. Renaming them "Leg Love" officially.

Again I'll be making these in set colors and styles except for special special requests. As for baking just click on Adventures in Cooking and eeeeverything I've eeeever made pops up! aka... multiple links to Joy the Baker's website. I'm an advocate for her. She doesn't know that though... so I think that makes me creepy. Unfortunate right? But it's for a cause! justified. yessss.

RHODE ISLAND HERE I COME!!!! W00! WAH00!

exciting news!!

You guys remember my obsession with RISD right? maybe you don't... mayyybe it's cuz i never told you haha. Let's start at the very beginning (feel free to hum the Sound of Music while you read this). A long long time ago before college happened I loved Brown University. I don't know whyyy but I think it was because of this girl I went to high school with, Divya. I have no idea where she is today but she went to Brown and planted that seed that awesome people go to Brown University.

Eventually I realized that Brown didn't have my major but oddly enough the school 3 feet away did - RISD. It was artsy... and not confined by rules and by a major body of water it just... WORKED. It got to the point where I'd tear up just thinking about being surrounded by artistic AND academic excellence. And theennnnn I realized I didn't have a portfolio to show to even get into the school. Eventually the dream faded...

...Enter Olivet... aka most of the previous entries in this blog and my Live Journal... and a good amount of turmoil, happiness and band.

Here we are in the present day! I've graduated (duh) I have 2 jobs and I DON'T want a masters. I DIDN'T want a masters, that is, until everyone I ever met kept asking me if I'm going back to school. Is it like... a common question people ask nowadays? Or just me because I'm supposed to get a masters? WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO GET A MASTERS!? What if I just go TO the Masters... and take a picture there... then I can say I've already been... people would totally think I wasn't talking about golf. DUPED!

Anyway... RISD holds this summer graphics program delightfully shortened to SIGDS. They're 2 week courses for people of all skill levels for credit/non-credit and I've wanted to go since my senior year of college since I kinda gave up on attending the school. The cost of the sessions are expensive. EX.PENNNSIVVVVVE. So I put that on hold... until a few days ago. I was talking with a friend of mine from work and again was asked about a frickin MASTERS, to which i responded, "no," but this time I decided to visit RISD's site for old times sake when I got home.

Something happened... it was like a flame was ignited in my heart and a sumo wrestler slapped me in the face all at the same time! I want a masters. Feel free to yell, "WHAT?!" cuz I would. Totally. Yeah. But first I'd really like to go to SIGDS and try it out. It's my tester course at RISD. If I love it then I'll pursue a full masters.

Are you FREAKING out right now?! I know right this is HUGE!!! Honestly I think it's God. I pray I'm not hearing something else. This is the first time in a while something in my heart connected and ignited. I just don't want to pursue something that isn't for me. I need to raise some funds - all together about 6500 dollars plus a plane ticket. I'm gonna talk to my employers about working at Providence Place for 4 weeks while I'm there and see if there is some kind of scholarship available. I'm also going to be knitting and baking for donations so if you have any requests bring em on! On the knitting side I'll be making hand warmers, leg warmers, scarves and hats helped by Blueberry Cobbler, my family's knitting business and pieces from friends like Maggie who is sweetawesome and crafty, too. On the baking side I'll make whatever you want between my mother and myself we run the kitchen - tentatively we're called The Kitchen Table. Don't gank the name. It is taken.

*sigh*...dang this is long.

I'm gonna need your help to get to Rhode Island in June. I know you want some food. You know I know you know you want some food. However you guys can help I would appreciate it. Between now and April (the deadline) there will be much prayer but I'm so excited. I'm shaking I'm so excited right now. This blog will probably be RISD central for a bit while I rally support so bear with me. Don't worry there will still be baking and knitting and posts about pants sucking at life. I'm just so excited!!!! ok I should sleep. sleep is good.

thoughts on pants

Currently I'm listening to "Killing Me Softly" by the Fugees and it. is. AMAZING. Laurryn Hill! we've got to move on...

Anyway (I digress a LOT!) I was reading over old entries and realized that I never 'another entry for another day'-ed my thoughts on pants. Here's the breakdown:

I wish to abolish pants. 

boom.

Pants are... cumbersome... and restrictive and made by the MAN to oppress and CONFORM your LIFE! ...I tend to get carried away with things sometimes... but I think you understand my aversion to them. 

In an ideal life I would live in boyshorts and tank tops and dance all day. I know that sounds really weird to those with the visual brains (like myself) but if you have not tried a sleeveless top and some shorts/boxers I'm pretty sure you have not LIVED, MY FRIEND YOU HAVE NOT LIIIIVED! 

Also, about dance. I really REALLY really really love dance. Again... we'll talk about that later. Back to the pants and me hating them. They suck! You wear em to bed and they get all tangled in your covers like a cloth covered boa constrictor around your legs. PANTS. boooo! (I'm channeling Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets here)

BUT... Since we HAVE to wear pants can I just say that tights are not pants. Legging are not pants. Jeggings are not pants. A shirt that comes to the middle of your butt paired with all of the above does not an outfit make. That is all haha

GUESS. WHAT.

I got THESE!!!

THEY'RE IN THE MAAAAIL!

by the way this is my 4th post (more like 80th) about TOMS. My 3rd pair. Every time I go to buy the red ones... I end up with the seasonal ones that are going away soon and I just can't resist them! Oh TOMS... i friggin lurve you. I think I'll introduce them to my Emily Dickens... and they'll like fall in love... ok my brain is full of weddings let us stop.

I love the fall. It's comin! : ) and I will be wearing these shoes.

BARRACUDA!

Somehow when I think of Renegade Handmade the song Barracuda by Heart plays in my head. Um... can i just say how much i love that song. Cuz i do. love it too.

BUT the point of this post was to say GO TO THIS.

you will have happy fun times here being an artsy hipster with the rest of Chicago. Actually everyone that went to the She&Him concert? plus Maggie... will be there. And anyone who went to that concert knows what i meant. wahoo!!!

Also as I'm getting progressively more excited for my friend Katherine's SWEET wedding I thought I'd give you a glimpse into my future and tell you what my wedding song is. People need to prepare for my wedding. It will be epic. E.PIC. By the time I get married I'll have everything planned out - just need a groom! So awesome right?! The truth.

right now

shut the front door i haven't updated in foreverrrrrrs! I actually don't have much to say but I thought I'd give a quick update - an overview if you will - on life right meow.

Hummmm where to start! Oh wow I'm actually out of words... I honestly don't know where to start. I feel like I should just tumble it all  out in one lonnnng string of words. Cuz that's how I operate most times. Ask people. I just spout.

Work has been constant... Like I haven't had any time to breathe and be alone in a LONG TIME and it's starting to wear. I'm staring to put all my eggs in one basket again at work, too. I expect so MUCH out of it! I expect development and unity and a sense of belonging all day every day so when that's not met I feel like I did something wrong.... or angered some higher up or something. I think I'm seeking gratification from the wrong source. Speaking of source... I'm also still in the same place with God... actually I'm worse so... *shakes head* I don't know how to move past it. I would really like to but I'm holding me back. Isn't that THE WORST?! When you know you're preventing yourself... from yourself! How stupid is that!? But I'm pretty sure it's the dilemma of like... the entire human race haha. So... OK i'm gonna stop talking about it. Though I would appreciate any input.

And, ok, I have to write this out (and I apologize beforehand) because in Abby's world this is epic. You'd just have to know me to understand. OK maybe it's not so epic but for a split second of my life... I let someone else in. Let's skip to the end and read the last page so you know how it ends (sidebar: I totally read the last page of every book I've ever read since... forever. I literally read the last word. Sometimes it gives stuff away... sometimes it doesn't but I can't NOT do it. I have to! I just gotta! I hate horrible surprisesOKSIDEBAROVER.) - it didn't work out (does it ever? haha) - but like... this is huge! Have you MET me?!

*shakes your hand* "Helloooo I'm Abby, I'm a fan of fake moustaches, fonts and giggling all the time and oh, let's just out with this now? I'm closed off."

It was kind of like a storm. The feeling hit like lightning and all the sudden I was feeling EVERYTHING and there was thunder and rain and it was exciting and confusing and liiiittle bit hazy... and as quickly as that storm moved in just a few seconds later everything went away just as fast. Even though it seems like a kind of horrible ending? I think it was all for the best honestly. It's been a long time since I've FELT anything so... I think it's a good step. *shrugs shoulders*

OK so i DID have stuff to say. Did I lie? Maybe... but i honestly thought I was gonna do bullet points. I love bullet points. Here, I'll do them just so I keep my word.

• i totally wanna bake something soon!
• I need to find an amazing wedding present
• I'm going to a wedding! I did NOT tell you that! this is the first wedding I've gone to with "Guest" next to my name. I am not bringing a guest. This is the first wedding I've gone to that I'd actually LIKE to bring a guest...
• WHAT. IS THE DEAAAAL!? (seriously HAVE YOU BUH-FREAKING MET ME?!?!)
• alright this is getting obnoxious.
• bye. 
• for real. 

Yes, we have no bananas

This is what I do on a Friday night. You will probably never see me in a club - let's think about that for just a moment. Can you actually SEE me in a club?! Be honest. OK. Let's move on. On a friday evening I'm folding bananas, sugar, and vanilla into flour and cinnamon to make Banana Crumb Muffins and think about what I'm gonna write in a blog. Lame! hah... *sigh...*

The oven is set at 375 which happens to be the exact temperature of our unairconditioned apartment too. Obviously ideal conditions to make something that requires MORE HEAT. There was a point where I was DRIPPING sweat. How sexy is that? Well let's just say you have noo ideaaa how much it's... NOT. Once they were in the oven everything was okay. 20 minutes later your nose is all but jumping off your face because you can smell that crumbly streusel topping coming together in the oven. I tasted one while warm - I couldn't resist - and oh, mama, they're SO. GOOD. Coming from the epic fail attempt at making churros this is a good win! and breakfast tomorrow! ohhh yeeeeah.


poor bananas. they were on the way out. so obviously i became my mother and rescued them to be made into delicious muffins. and that La Croix saved my LIFE while I was sweating out 24 years of body weight in the kitchen.

Ingredients! inspired by the Pioneer Woman haha and i had to close up that nutmeg... cuz i don't get it. do you understand it? seriously it's like an alien spice. tastes so grood. looks soooo weird.

breathe in... breathe out... grab your keys... drive to my house... CUZ THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

Banana nut crumb muffin? Meet cream cheese. mingle... mingle... pure. ecstasy.

oh gosh

Being on phones at work tests every limit of patience you have. Somehow when someone is in front of you... you can gauge their anger and deal with it. On the phone it's like their alter ego to be EXTRA. HORRIBLE. Like today. This conversation will go down in my little history book because I retaliated a little bit. I'm not proud of it but... he asked for it.

dude: I was just on hold for 27 minutes for you to tell me you don't have it?
me: i know sir i'm so sorry! i appreciate you holding and apologize that we didn't have it.
dude: well! thanks for wasting my time...
SIMULTANEOUSLY dude: bye. me: you suck.

*click!*

I couldn't resist. I'll do better tomorrow... when I'm on phones ALL. DAY. O.O...

anyway how is everyone? I haven't updated in foreverrrs! hope everyone's doing okay! : )

spurs? not a problem

Single Black Female seeking Cowboy of her dreams.

ok. this is a lie... well the cowboy of her dreams part. I'm currently COMPLETELY sucked into the Pioneer Woman's love story of how she met her Dreamy McSteamy Ranchero in Chaps husband who she affectionately refers to as Marlboro Man on her blog. It's like the best romance novel meets food blog. Home run. Touch down. GOOOOOOOOOAL. Break out the vuvuzela.

Anyway I'm gonna need you to read it. ALL OF IT (start at the bottom). And I'll need you to read it in one sitting like I'm currently doing. Feel free to ignore EVERYONE including clients at work, co-workers and/or immediate family to finish reading it. You wish I was kidding. YOU WISH!

that is all.

CHHOOOOCOLAAAATE! - spongebob squarepants

yep. that quote happens to be from Spongebob haha. I really do watch a lot of it... but I'm gonna go ahead and say it's made me smarter.

First of all - GUESS WHO RESERVED THEIR IPHOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!! WHAT WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?! oh MAMA i'm excited. SO excited man.

Second of all - another Abi has a blog and she's giving away chocolate. Oh... 'scuse me CUSTOM chocolate. That like makes it 80 times BETTER.

photo from Vanilla and Lace

Especially since that chocolate would be so loved by me! I'm hoping I win! Oh... I suppose I should give the link to all 5 and a half of my readers so you can partake in the custom chocolate getting! http://vanillaandlace.blogspot.com/2010/06/chocomize.html - best of luck to you! Support the Abby's/Abi's/Abbey's in the arts! oh man... that sounds like my next blog header... Abby in the Arts haha riiiieeeeght?!

I'll post substantially very soon-like!

OOH! p.s.! Story time! A lady RUSHES into where I work yesterday heads STRAIGHT towards me (I've had bad experiences with rushing customers haha) and is about an INCH from my face. Let's go on the record and say I HATE people invading my personal bubble. It's a bad idea... I'm an impulse puncher... ANYWAY. She gets really close and goes, "This... has NOTHING to do with anything... but...... does my make-up look okay?!?!" yyyeah. the first words out of my mouth were,"...WHAT?!" She was black and was across the mall at Bare Escentuals getting a make-up assessment and needed someone of her skin color to confirm that it looked ok!!!! Never... in my whole life has anything like that happened! I mean I totally understand and gave her my honest opinion (foundation? yes. blush color? no.) and she happily exited my personal bubble and the store. It. was. INSANNNNE. and awesome at the same time hahaha. I thought everyone would enjoy hearing that story. OK BYE AGAIN.

if you don't know me by now II

I've noticed I do this a lot. When I get home I immediately undress. Everything feels really HEAVY all of a sudden and the only thing that gets rid of that is pajamas (or just anything that doesn't have to do with pants, but that's another post for another day... I digress). I take my necklace off cuz suddenly it's too tight and the last thing I usually take off are my earrings because my ears feel heavy. Seriously I just need a complete disconnect from the mental marathons I run all day.

What actually ends up happening is I take most of it off then I sit down at my computer and peruse the interwebz until I... do something else. During that time I take off ONE earring. One. When I get up and do something else I realize there is something dangling from my ear and I immediately FREAK OUT because I lose earrings all the time and proceed to tear apart my room looking for my other earring or on the floor - maybe it came out when I took off my work clothes. Then I remember... it's sitting on my desk... where I left it... 5 minutes ago when I took it off. Then I calmly take off the other one and place it next to the formerly removed one.

I do this EVERY. DAY. The sad thing is I'm pretty sure it'll be part of my daily routine for a long time. I have the feeling I'm gonna be a CHAMPION old person. Stuff of legends.

don't you feel closer to me now? *The More You Know music plays*

livin' the dream

I have a fanTASTIC job. Really... aside from designing it's a dream. Actually if I could keep that job AND design then it would be the... HAHA the complete solution. But I'm gonna be honest. Work hasn't been going so well.

Turns out we actually DO things where I work... and they expect you to well haha. When it comes down to it I think I was so excited for SO LONG that excitement turned to nervousness and that nervousness turned into a perfection complex... and turned to fear. My voice felt like it wasn't my own. Like I was speaking too loudly in a foreign language I just learned. I had it all logistically down in my head but when I opened my mouth it was "EPIC FAIL" realized haha. And I kept saying work was going ok... just ok... i dunno!

Fast forward thru me sucking and some tears toooo a couple days ago. Told my mom about what's going on and of course she immediately identified the problem, "why aren't you being Abby? you don't even sound like you."

*awkward silence of revelation*
Now I'm working on getting out of my own head and being afraid of if I'm saying the wrong thing or not saying something because I think I'll get rejected. My thing is... I like being good at things. I know I'm not good at EVERYTHING - sports... maybe one day... *shakes head* - but for the most part I get things and then I'm awesome at it? So this not being awesome at an AWESOME job thing? *see aforementioned public breakdown at work... it was a brief mention...*

I'm also going to attempt to dance in public at least once when I'm there so I can kinda loosen the heck UP! actually let's dance NOW.