I wish I had gone to an art school. My life would have been completely different. I probably would have been ripped apart but I might have come back together with my own style you know?
I don't regret the people I've met the choices I've made but there is always that tiny inkling of... 'what if...' and i'm sure thats everyone.
I feel like i need a close art partner... someone who doesn't want to compete with you... who doesn't want to secretly rip you off like half the art students at my alma mater and just want to help you grow and you help them grow. I think I could become fast friends with this imaginery perfect person. I don't feel nurtured as an artist I feel coddled like a baby. Like I'm way behind in my art and way ahead in my mind... it's a horrible paradigm
lately i've felt kind of in a floaty place. where i'm not really here nor there about anything not really mad or sad in terms of one topic or the other but i'm starting to get to a certain point:
Lots of people happen to be class A idiots.
You talk they don't listen, help they don't take it, love they don't want it, reach out they pull back. So whats the point? after a while you get tired of reaching, loving, talking, helping. The Bible says people need discipline because they don't understand words. Which is true... someone can tell you 'YOU NEED HELP' all you want but until you discipline your mind into changing... you stay the same. I'm not speaking to one person in particular... and if i was? It wouldn't matter because it wouldn't help. the first jump sets everything in motion. take the jump already JUMP otherwise you end up wih nothing... over... and over... and over again