Wednesday, March 19, 2014

SLW: living life to the fullest!

There are a lot of adages for single people. Our manifesto if you will. Live life to the fullest (because you are alone). Accept happiness (because you don't have a person to make you happy). She turned her can't into cans and her dreams into plans (cuz eventually you'll just die alone). I believe there is a whole Pinterest category of hipster typographical phrases with either a background of mountains or stars or books. Pretty sure I've looked at all of them, late at night, while thinking about buying something from Anthropologie online at the same time.  

What about when you're in a bad place? When you're feeling a little lost? What if THAT is your fullest you can live at the moment? And can't that be enough?! A friend sent me an article that said accepting you're not happy isn't saying "Yes, I wanted this," it just IS what's going on. But you'll move on from there when that time comes. When that is... I wonder that every day. My manager is always upset that my response to, "How's it going??," is, "meh," followed by a shrug. It's the truth! I'm at a job I don't like and I'm not necessarily SAD but I sure as heck ain't jovial so a "meh" for your life is what you get. 

The thing I know is I WILL move on from this even though I'm in the thick of what seems like a forever transition period. Don't know what I should do with my life, maybe I laid down in the middle of the floor the other day and admitted to myself, that yeah I do REALLY want a frickin boyfriend. All I can do is get up, go to work, come home, shower and sleep only to do it all over the next day. This is how I'm getting through. This is my fullest and I'm okay with that. 

But also here are some quotes I found on Pinterest to lift your spirits a bit.





Wednesday, March 12, 2014

SLW: the lady doctor

Oh yes. We're about to go there.

I have read a few funny accounts of going to the gynecologist and they're all full of expletives. Who can blame them because you're effin naked in front of an effin stranger getting felt up. Things get real is all. 

Nurse: "Do you wanna get screened for HIV or any STD's?"
Me: "...Dooo you have to have sex to get those?"
Nurse: "Um. Yeah."
Me: "Mmkaythen noo."

This is my yearly bout of action I get - the closest to a "good time" I've ever been. Really, my doctor is super nice and very to the point, which in gynecology is a blessing. (I feel like small talk should just be banned until your fingers are OUT of my insides.)

"Have you ever fainted from the... Ya know... Odor down there?" I ponder silently. I tried to all but plant a rose garden in my Netherlands this morning. There is a special place in Heaven for people that willingly stick their face inches from hundreds of genitals that may smell really terrible for medical reasons. It's a really clean place in Heaven. Odorless. Lots of clouds. 

I always end up in fits of uncontrollable laughter mostly because the entire thing, while it's wholly medical, is also wholly ridiculous. The nurse points to the gown and says, "Opening to the front," and I was down for at least a minute when she left. While on the table, normal conversation is just... very much inhibited by the fact that her hands are on my boobs yet she's congratulating me on losing weight since I've seen her last. I opened my mouth to ask her out for maybe some coffee since we're so close but I thought against it. 

"Maybe I can qualify this as 'Go on a date' for my resolutions for this year..." 

Sunday, March 2, 2014

2014 Anthem Songs

So it's March. That's pretty real and I'm not actually sure how to handle it properly because YESTERDAY was January 1st. Yesterday.

I've been meaning to post my "anthem" songs for the year because a) I love music and b) it's fun to have a song you can belt out boldly. For example, all of Beyoncé's album I belt out in my CAR because maybe I'm slightly uncomfortable yelling about skittles (omg) in front of my mother mmkay?

Happy - Pharrell

I think this song is GROSSLY overplayed but it's so dang catchy that I'm almost mad at it.

I do this dance a LOT.

Golden - Jill Scott

This is just... THE JAM FOREVER. 1. Jill Scott is flawless 2. I like the message of the song 3. Have I mentioned that I want to BE Jill Scott?

Imagine me doing the running man to this and may it bring you JOY. 


Related Posts with Thumbnails