Sunday, September 29, 2013

hello world, this is me.

Yeah I did just break my 2 month blogging hiatus with a millennium hit but don't judge.

I feel like I owe an explanation. (read: rambling for a while)

I don't really owe anyone anything I can do what I want, but for as long as I've been mentally writing this very post in my head I actually want to GIVE an explanation now.

My blog isn't popular by any stretch of the imagination. For the 20 or so people this reaches I really enjoy writing random stuff about being single, about every life stuff, about God, about anything at all but for the past 2 months I didn't feel like doing anything. I could totally say that I'm coming out of a rough patch and I'm finally seeing the sunshine again but that is... a load of "blog speak."

Real life? Being single SUUUUCKS.

I've gone from totally "adventuring" it up to really not enjoying it at all. It's very stressful and lonely and definitely hard to relate to your friends who no longer have time for petty things like... whining. I mean there was a stretch of time where all I did was cry about random things. No joke! Tears. Every day for like 2 weeks. I couldn't control it. It was NUTS.

In the stretch of time (definitely after the crying) I've been doing a few things.
1) I joined the choir at church. This seems like a small thing but it is HUGE for me. I don't want to be SEEN at church - so much so that people think I actively hate them at church. How... HOW?! That still boggles my brain but I joined the choir anyway and I FREAKING LOVE IT. I'm not sure how I had it figured in my head but I thought everyone was going to be really mean. But they aren't! It turns out I'm ridiculous almost all of the time when I "figure things out in my head." I really love singing, but it's more than that I love WORSHIPPING God. If singing creates an emotional connection try adding God into the mix. It's like... a whole different level that makes me want to burst into tears every time I sing.

2) I got a baking apprenticeship. The details are very fuzzy and I'm still kind of scared to dive in, but it is there... waiting for me to learn about baking in an ACTUAL kitchen of an ACTUAL business.

3) I've been losing weight. I don't enjoy talking about weight because it kills my self discipline but I can't be stopped. No I CAN be stopped by Mexican Coke and Peanut Butter M&M's and laziness? But I write off the day and continue on to the next and so far I've lost about 30 pounds. That is more I've ever consecutively lost in my LIFE. It scares me a lot, and I have a long, long way to go, but it helps to have a friend who helps/yells/encourages you every step of the way. I wouldn't have gotten here without Maranda - real talk. But! I've finally realized I wouldn't have gotten here without MYSELF either.

So that's me right now. I think I'm going to stop SLW's for the time being. Maybe I'll change it to Single Lady Lives or something... I dunno. I'm not thinking about it too hard. It's interesting that at 27 I'm still figuring out how to be a normal person. Life's weird.


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