Wednesday, March 27, 2013

SLW: laundry day

Apartment living means laundry is shared with strangers. It's usually the only interaction I have with other tenants in the building and I've been living here for 12 years.

Honestly when I do my laundry I forget to take off the clothes I'm wearing and usually end up doing a hot strip in the public laundry area with my butt up against the door just in case a tenant walks in to do their laundry... clothed. Like normal people are clothed.

While in the process of moving, I ran out of underwear because... of course I have. I ran down to put a load in the washer and found myself filling a washer full of someone else's clothes. Turned on the machine and filled it up... OPENED IT and it was... already filled with already washed clothes. Sooo I took them out and attempted to wring them out before semi-folding them. I try to be nice when moving clothes out of the washer/dryer. It's a sensitive issue. Plus I just rewet them. There's that.

Naturally as I'm moving the clothes and folding them... and wringing them out the DUDE (the GUY!) whose laundry this belongs to walks in mid fold.

How things went down...

Me: AH I WAS JUST HAHAHAHAHA TRYING TO HAHA FOLDHAHAHA YOUR CLOTHES CUZ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *as I go away from his clothes I realized a fake nail has come off and is currently residing on top of his shirts*

Dude: mmmm... no it's okay. *wary face*

Me: *hops back to my washer filling to put my clothes in - realizes 90% of the load is UNDERWEAR AND BRAS - I threw away the fake nail discreetly*

Dude: how was your day?

Me: LONG. *cue Debbie Downer trombone* you?

Dude: me too... I work part time as a fireman over in Glenwood and I have a day job - I actually work tonight so... buh.


Dude: yeah... *continues to fill*

Me: *continues to fill... as my bras keep getting STUCK on my laundry basket and all the weirdest underwear days float to the top CONTINUALLY - how are there so many underwear? I must own a thousand days of underwear!*

The guy keeps shooting me weird looks and I just go on about my business until I REMEMBER that I'm not wearing a bra as I decided to wash it. I nod... thinking this is good as my boobs are akimbo. This is normal for me. Find out a hot firefighter dude lives in my building. He understands the special, intricate art of laundry washing. He probably even understands the symbols on the tags. He owns maybe the cutest dog on the planet. This makes sense for me to be bra-less, washing every dirty unmentionable in the world.

C'est la vie.

...and happy Wednesday

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

SLW: a day in my life

There was one time where I had a crush on 1 boy for my entire life. It was kind of like... violent unrequited love but not really. I would just become nauseous to the point of throwing up whenever in his presence, my knees would get weak, my mouth would dry up, I always had the strangest urge to scream-cry, and basic human functions like breathing became super. difficult. I've liked him since we were 8 and I couldn't make it go away if I TRIED. I'd tell myself he was disgusting and a jerk and an idiot and would be JUST FINE when he wasn't in sight but as soon as he did... you just handed a recovering crack addict a GIANT BAG OF CRACK basically...

Well he's married now - like a second ago this happened. Because of course he is. Perfect specimens of dude always find perfect specimens of girl. And dreams always die. I always exaggerate did you know that? Me and the hyperbole are so tight. 

It just so happens that his mom and my mom are good friends and she visited her the other day... and found out about this blessed union in person. My mother was very happy as she should be... I mean our families grew up together basically. Hence my life long crush. If I had bangs I would blow them out of my eyes in frustration. 

My mom then proceeds to TELL him that I've liked him since I was 8 and that I'll be heartbroken and he's crushed my dreams. Oh... this was a great idea. He's married now! There's no reason why he should know! It ALL MAKES SENSE RIGHT?!... according to my mom. 

*sits down on the ground* this is my life. as a 26 year old lady girl. I say I've accepted it but I haven't - things are ridiculous in my single lady life. The LACK of action is what makes it so. 

I wouldn't have it any other way.


p.s. how many times have you listened to JT's new album? 5 listenings in a row is my tops at the moment. I'm addicted to "Don't Hold the Wall" and "That Girl" - beats and harmonies get meeee... 
p.p.s. - HAPPY 400TH POST!

Friday, March 15, 2013


Well guys, you've been with me a year on this crazy journey called Single Lady Wednesday. Some weeks really sucked, and some were prettyyyyy cool. We even had a few guests! Looking at the past year of posts made me laugh and even tear up a bit when I think about all the cool adventures, guest posts and discoveries made. It's been an interesting ride to say the least.

I figured out why I was so kindred to Wednesdays. I know Kate, over at DASJ, loves Wednesdays, too. Significant things seem to happen on Wednesdays. Turns out... my sister was born on a Wednesday and I was born on the EXACT SAME Wednesday 10 years later. It's kinda scary. My niece was also born on a Wednesday too! I think it's just in my blood to love this middle of the road day of the week.

Let's look back shall we?

I figured out being a single lady had a few advantages. Even the married ladies miss single-dom sometimes. You should DEFINITELY know how to put on a successful SLW - it mostly boils down to a lack of pants, really. I tried to lay down some truth for you as well... however unsuccessfully that was but none the leads it was real. (this one is my favorite)

Then there was that time I went to the beach in March in 85 degree weather. That was totally a thing.

...and of course. the post that started it all.

Thanks again for sticking with me through this year of navigating single-hood. Being single is really weird sometimes, but also really awesome. I feel untethered and free floating which can be both exhilarating and scary at the same time. It's really a day by day thing.

p.s. - Also how awesome would it be to get these turned into a book?! I would die. Die!


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