dires irae

Currently I'm grieving the loss of a good friend. That friend is a technological device that is able to be tracked and is currently in the possession of someone who doesn't deserve said friend, because they stole it. Who would have thought you could grieve the loss of an iPhone? You can. It's been a rough 24 hour period. I'm praying that God will restore property lost to me though. I'm praying that having something that doesn't belong to them makes them so restless and uncomfortable they have to find a way to get it back to where they stole it from - promptly.

My second grievance (actually it's not a grievance I'm just sad about it) involves my job. I was denied a position I interviewed... well this is the second time now and it's making me question my place in the company. Most of you know where I work. It's magical. I love talking to people and finding out about their lives and how what we make fits perfectly for them. It's interesting to find out the thing you enjoy doing is the very thing you're doing wrong. The thing you THOUGHT you had passion for someone gets to tell you, "yeah no this isn't it."and then they ALSO get to tell you, "oh but that wasn't a no!" and "don't be discouraged." and "I wanna help you find your place." How... do you expect me to not be discouraged when I'm either a) pissing off someone above me or b) just sucking THAT much. I thought I HAD found my place! Oh! Just kidding... no. Most people move on a fast track where I work. You come in you perform well and BOOM you move. I just am starting to feel like I have no value within the company and no path. I also don't want to quit (although today I thought about it about 15 times.) because I believe in what the company does. Apparently EVERYONE has a path even the people that didn't have a path totally found a path. Kinda feel like they broke the mold with me.

this all happened from 9 last night to today. so. you can sense my frustration and sadness (sadness is an understatement).