up next...

For the lemonhead in all of us...

Lemon Whoopie Pies (or me when I'm tired, "Lemie Whoopin Pies" HAAA!)

(photo courtesy of Joy the Baker)

and for the ladies...

Red Velvet Black & White Cookies - or! the Ultimate Jungle Fever Cookie. Yes, sweet, sweet, yes.

(photo courtesy of Joy the Baker)

crazy daze

The past few works days have been ABSOLUTELY insane. I'm gonna highlight the high points... which are kind of actually LOW points? But they're high points here.

Before I get into this, one thing I have to say! Nosy people? *shakes head* I don't... I CANNOT... there aren't even any words. Ummm, quit bein' nosy! Thanks. And I'm also sayin' this to myself. But I'm mostly sayin' this to... OK MOVING ON.

Work Day Friday: I was SO excited for Friday. Fridays are when I go to Sweet Annie's and get a confectionary treat for lunch and sometimes go to the library to pick up a book on hold. Hey,  I never said my life was extra exciting. I just live it out in awesome ways. I even Fb'd about a nap. I mean I was EXCITED about this NAP!

Someone ended up calling in sick, which happens, ya know? But! Here's the CLINCHER. No one else was available to work so I worked ALL DAY. No nap : (  people came up to me and asked me about that nap. It was reported to be an EPIC nap. I digress. So I worked all day and it actually wasn't so bad I was just dog tired. I definitely still had to work at 7 am the next morning though.

The only upsetting part was... as a compensation for 12 hours she brought me Harolds! WOOO! Right?! I get the chicken and open the box and what do I see? More like what I DON'T see. THE SAUCE. Never in the history of black people eating Harold's Chicken has there been NO SAUCE ON CHICKEN. I just... she's black... I'm black... it goes without saying! If you wanted chicken without sauce you'd probably go to... KFC or Popeyes. So... I ate my dry chicken because I couldn't leave and that was THAT. Still upset over that chicken! Don't mess with black people and Harold's.

Work Day Saturday: I got up ok and made it to work on time. I actually enjoy the hour and a half of silence in the morning. There is usually only about 2 clients at 8 and they're usually in the spa so I have a little bit of alone time (aka Abby WAKE UP!) before it gets crazy busy promptly at 9. Know what else helped? Grande Caramel Frapuccino extra whip. Just sayin'. So it did get busier and I was fine. I vented to everyone around that I wasn't working for ANYONE and nobody not no HOW was gonna keep me from reuniting with my nap! Except a major emergency kept me from reuniting with my nap. I thought I was gonna have to work all day again because, AGAIN, we couldn't get in touch with the other coordinator! I had to go to her HOUSE, knock on her DOOR, and wake her out of SLUMBER to ask if she could work for me. Granted her house is directly behind Eden but still! I worked 3 hours short of all day, which was fine with me!

Like Friday, Saturday wasn't too bad except....... for one... isolated incident. A client comes in, late, of course. She's English and... when I say English I mean high tea and crumpets, we only have tea in the PARLOR, have you met my kitten Archibald kind of English. I guess she's used to a... different way of life because she constantly calls in to make an appointment THE DAY OF. In a successful salon/spa business you should be booked! Which we WERE, but then she gets mad when no one's available. *vertical face wipe* People. Astound. Me. We got her in, though. Like I said she got there late. She wanted coffee and we willingly made some for her. She takes the dry creamer sitting there, picks it up and shakes! shakes it! DRY creamer! So naturally, according to laws of physics and aerodynamics, it goes everywhere. All over the counter and on the floor. When her stylist attempts to clean it up, the client says, "Oh, don't worry, the maid will get it." I... I feel like an illustration of my face needs to be inserted here.

The... maid? I had to blink... blink a LOT and then I contemplated kicking her in the face? But that's no good. Then I sat. By that time someone else had actually cleaned it up! HAHA! That wasn't my intention but I was stunned into numbness. I had to laugh. It's funny! It's MESSED UP and rude and classless but it's funny!!

Thank you God for helping me get out alive, without cursin' anyone out. The only residual damage is now everyone calls me Harold, the maid.

a rather difficult key

It's hard to eat Harold's while people are talking about weight....... Kills the mood.

I wish you could see my face right now.

take these fingers for a walk!

Goal: Sketch more. I like drawing. I'm good at drawing. I need to draw more. Reopen my imagination so I can design. I believe cobwebs are collecting there at the moment. I'll draw cobwebs. I also need to explore typographic design. I can (almost) identify most fonts by sight, but where the heck does THAT skill get you? I need to put this love/obsession to good use! I think if I explore it finally I'll open a whole new brain door haha.

Oh! I'm taking a break from Facebook this week. I went on this morning and there was yet ANOTHER birthday/church-day/happy day/do-we-REALLY-need-an-excuse?!-day party from the same 20 people at church. I... could elaborate on "injustices" but no one has wronged me in any way so these feelings are unfounded. What does upset me is that I still have no friends at church. So I'm just gonna... stay away from Fb for a sec and revamp my attitude. Sounds good okay?

Baking update: Made butter cookies in the Cuisinart food processor 2 days ago. It took me approximately 5 minutes to pulse 12 times and the dough was there. No tired arms... NOTHIN. I've decided to make that Cuisinart my new best friend. We tight. Did I mention they were the best butter cookies I've EVER made?? I'm convinced it was the Cuisinart's magical food preparation-y goodness. That and a pinch of salt*. I've learned to NEVER underestimate salt. EVER.

*This message for salt is approved by Abby and her fake moustache.

The saga of biscuit days

2 posts in 1 day!? Unheard of... but I just successfully made my second batch of biscuits and I think everyone (again, to the 3 of you who read this.) needs to know about this SWEET success. I should mention before I get started that my mom isn't even in the state - usually I'm yelling like, "HEY IS THIS DOUGH OK?!". This is huge. HUGE.

It all started Tuesday when I decided, "I should make something." and you can see the below entry for my findings of the biscuits. I got home Tuesday evening and realized... I left the recipes at work. So I sat down and copied the recipe for the buttermilk biscuits from the website... then I put the shortening and butter in the fridge cuz I forgot that, too. By then it was, mmm, 6:30. Finally! Everything was set... went in the cabinet, got the flour container, opened it and!... we're out of flour. Never in my entire life has there not been flour... SOME WHERE... but I found cake flour and bread flour and called my mom. She said it would be ok as a substitute.

So glad. Cuz seriously that was ridiculous for a second.

Even though I forgot the salt they turned out REALLY GOOD (tasting. i know my grammar.)! The cake flour made them lighter than air, and they're super tasty with butter and syrup. You'd never know the difference.

Today's batch went amazingly well too. Cept I remembered the salt. I pretty much shouted it out to make myself remember it.

Don't ever forget the salt in baked goods. It'll taste good but *something* will be missing. It's the salt. Go ahead. Turn that upper torso around and kick yourself in the butt. But after you do just underline "salt" in all your recipes and your life will INSTANTLY brighten... or something like that.

Today's biscuit's tasted just like Red Lobster's. Except better. Because I made them with love. Just like a Krabby Patty. They also taste fantastic with soup. The biscuits not a Krabby Patty.

Here are my results!

The first is my breakfast of Buttermilk biscuits, butter and syrup. Not the best shot but it was like 3 seconds before I walked out the door haha. The second and third are the cheddar biscuits. SO EXCITED.

ok. Must sleep! busy day tomorrow...... busy day.

summer goal

I'm makin' all these goals n stuff! I like it! Things you should know about me: I'm not a planner. Everytime I plan something and name it 'awesome' it falls through. Seriously! Whenever I'm excited about something in particular? It NEVER goes right. Actually I think it goes wrong just to be like *sticks tongue out* so THERE! I've learned to like the things that spontaneously go right without really planning anything major.

Then my mom told me out of the blue one day, "You need to start planning things for yourself. You are at a stage in your life that if you don't plan, I'm no longer responsible for making things happen. You are." ...Deep. Ask Aaron (my nephew) he was totes in the car for this message from Above.

So I've decided I'm gonna plan. Plan my BUTT OFF. No, really, I'd like to plan for my butt to disappear sometime around May. Watch for that. It will be epic.

This one is more of a lofty plan but I'm just setting it out there for someone (all 3 of you who read this haha) to bite then I can REEL them in with my plans of amazingness. I want to road trip... SOMEWHERE. Preferably California. Actually I'd like to go to California. That's my only option haha. I don't really know where this is coming from except through two explanations: 1. fulfilling the calling of my youth... or... something retarded a young person would say. 2. I never did the spring break thing and now I REALLY WANT TO! It's a little bit of 1... mostly 2 though. I never had friends I could up and go to ANYWHERE with... So I'd like to do that... soon.

Also, I'll be going to Rhode Island next summer : ) ok this isn't true... but I'm trying to make it true!

biscuit days

I wish the biscuit days were like the salad days... except way better because there are carbs involved... metaphorically of course. "Oh, the biscuit days..."

In keeping with my new life resolution to bake, this week I will be making more things from Joy the Baker (srsly. lurve her!). Since my mom is in D.C. I figure I can bake unprohibited. Today I was feelin' biscuits and went a-searching through the annals of biscuits... well actually I just went IMMEDIATELY to Joy the Baker's site and looked through her recipe index haha. I will be making her Dad's Buttermilk Biscuits and the Giant Paprika Cheddar Drop Biscuits. I am so excited... and I will probably post more pictures just cuz I get insanely crazy like that.

If I could also make cookies this week that would be awesome. I am... getting the sinking feeling that I won't really want to bake til about... Juu...lyyy...uraryyyy...tober??ember. So I'm getting all this in pretty much before the week is out. I'm shooting for the black and white cookies as well as butter cookies and peanut butter blossoms for my dad.

Still trying to figure out whaaat I'm doing... ya know with... my life and my appearance haha. I can't get myself to DO anything... I just... don't feel like it! The longer I wait to wake up the more I know I won't if I don't just MAKE myself wake up. Anyone have a soul defibrilator?

the ultimate business card

I successfully took down every scrap of Christmas in this apartment and reorganized the abyss of a closet in our hallway. Seriously that closet is good LOOKIN'.

So good, I'm adding it to my business card or... future dating profile but ummm pretty sure dating websites are from the devil, but that's just me.

It will read:

Abigail M.

Graphic Designer, Expert Knitter, Master Whistler (no seriously. i'm friggin AMAZING at whistling.), Specialist Bug Detector, Professional Closet Organizer

I'm also thinking about having this embroidered on a cape. Pillows are for amateurs.

I also watched 5 hours of Glee today... not sayin' i'm proud of it, it just happened.

random thoughts

• I really like string cheese. I mean the simple invention of already awesome mozerella into log/string form is just... whoever made that up I'd like to meet them. And give them a hug.
• Why do apples make you hungrier AFTER you eat them? My theory is since you're chewing so much... the exercise counteracts the motion of eating. It just ends up cancelling out. You ate nothing. And your jaws are tired. Congratulations.
• Texturizing Creme, shaping wax, custom control and control paste... SAME THING! Different prices. Here at Aveda : )
• My mom enjoys hurling insults at the stupid people on House Hunters. Seriously? They're DUMB. But I'm pretty sure she thinks they will heed her advice though... haha it's about the equivalent to a scary movie and EVERY black person saying, "GIIIIIRL YOU KNOW HE IN THE GARAGE! HE AAAALWAYS IN THE GARAGE!!!!"

that's about it for now. will update if i get more... WHEN i get more haha

I did it!

I made Cranberry Almond Orange Oatmeal from Joy the Baker this morning!!! I actually stood at a stove in spite of  not really being awake and toasted almonds in butter! It was pretty dang exciting!

I was really into it so I took pics of the results.

It was TASTY. I'm excited to start making cookies : )

Despite the fact that it's going to snow 98 inches today? I think today will be alright. Yesterday's workday was INSANE. no lie.

finding my way... AGAIN.

On a completely different note I'm trying to not be such a lazybones. I'm trying to lose weight without actually DOING anything haha. I haven't read my Bible or done devotions for a WHILE and I don't know why! All I do is beat myself up over being a horrible person. I also kinda feel like I've messed up for the last time... like I can't come back... I've done it too many times before. But that's pride right? You get knocked down and have the nerve to STAY down?! so get back up already!!!

I think I'm waiting for the flashing lights and the emotional connection to happen where I suddenly realize that Jesus loves me beyond all my idiot tendencies but... I think after a while... Jesus is still where He was before and YOU have to realize all by yourself and just do it. No flashing lights, clanging symbols or harps from the Heavenlies.

a while later...

hello again. While, in my debate whether to eat a bag of Lays or eat a bag of Doritos I realized something. No, that's wrong I didn't realize anything, I made a choice to get Harold's Chicken on Sunday hahaha. *wipes tear* That's funny.

I find myself in these debates with myself over food. I mean like knock down, super extra long mind WAR with myself over um, food. I love food. No, I LOVE food. I love the craft of it, the art of it. I love watching someone bite into it and immediately say, "mmmmm...." I love when I do that, too. I love good food. I could literally gush about food for another 16 paragraphs and not say everything I love ABOUT. FOOD!

I also know, as previously aforementioned, that I'm being lazy right now with Jesus. Laziest Christian award goes to... by unanimous vote: Abby. Then as quietly it clicked. No Jesus + food problems GO HAND IN HAND!!! Can you see them? They're skipping together down the sidewalk. So I realize why I've been struggling with this all my life. I haven't truly surrendered that part of myself to God. I can encourage you til the cows come home and teach a baby Bible class with my eyes closed. While upside down. Being tickled.

I have no will when it comes to food because I've never thought of it as an actual spiritual thing I needed to deal with. I mean I did but I didn't. Does that make sense? OK. Now that I've just bared my deepest, darkest secret to the entire world I guess I can take action now. My life just doesn't work without Jesus... which is GREAT. and it sucks hahaha

new cubed

New Yearly Goal (ok... and a new life goal): Bake more. Joy the Baker has inspired me re-introduce myself to baking, shake it warmly by the hand and become best friends with it. I would also like to become best friends with Joy the Baker. Can that be possible? I feel like she'd respond positively.

This should perfectly coincide with me trying to lose weight, yes? If Annie Leary, the powerhouse baker that she is, can do it so can I! I think the trick is to give what you're baking AWAY to people that regularly exercise or... to people that tell you to bake for them (nora & anishaaaa)

That would also get me 1 step closer to owning a knit shoppe (I enjoy the word "shoppe" more than "shop") and bakery. Not to compete with Sweet Annie's two doors over, I'm just sayin'.

Year-In-Review

I figure if 2 people read this blog 1 person reads my LJ so this won out haha

January: Started interning at church, got a job at Eden, went to San Diego, started weight loss competition

February: more of the same - working, met Rachel Berger (an experience!), ordered my first w00t shirt!

March: Mom's b-day, Mike's b-day, more work, had a scavenger hunt in Orland mall - my team won

April: went to Olivet for gospel choir concert, met up with Maggie and Zach, took 2nd place in the competition, lost 21 lbs, Easter, ordered my iMac (iMogen)

May: iMmi arrived!, birthday wasn't good, lost insurance, have insurance, memorial day at my pastor's giant house

June: anisha's birthday, went to Bongo Room (most excellent!), got CS4, introduced myself to fine yarns

July: started leg warmers, Autumn's birthday weekend, intro'd to warm beignets, found the wonders of designmom.com, MET MRS. BLAIR (of designmom) because I randomly decided to go to BlogHer and meet this wonderful lady - and in all my excitement i neglected to tell her I'm a designer LOL

August: SOCIAL WEEK - IKEA, Cheesecake Factory, Mrs. Taylor, Anisha and downtown adventures, 500 days of Summer - happened, met up with Jayme for a sucky movie

September: Renegade Craft Fair with Maggie, Becca, Susan and Christine (i believe that's what her name was), found Clover & Bee, Kanye happened (oh Kanye, why?)

October: Festival of Harts (hats & art), made many knit hats for people, saw Othello by the Joffrey, saw INGRID MICHAELSON and my heart didn't give out from all the awesomeness, went to Columbia and handmade my own paper which is currently adorning my face in this profile picture, talked to about 7 people I haven't talked to in over a year, spent the night at Anisha's again

November: Olivet homecoming, tire inflation/deflation craziness, Olivet gospel choir concert CRAZY with Emilee, Olive Garden with JJ, Thanksgiving in the living room, actually went shopping the day after with my siblings

December: 2nd Renegade plans fell through miserably, cried in public!, craftily concocted a plan to get my mother a Cuisinart, plans worked much much crying, difficult family month, spent New Year's Eve with my drunk-off-the-full-moon niece and nephew

Overall: giving the year a B+ there was a lot of crappy stuff that happened but a lot of good stuff happened too! It was almost an A- but the crying in public really tipped it over to the B-side : ) So far this year... it's too early to tell... i think it will be interesting though.

A series of goals

New Life Goal: To be fluent in both Spanish and French before I die. I'd like to say before I'm 30 but I have this other Life Goal of going to Paris by that time. On my birthday. I love languages and I'm actually amazing at learning them. I just can't speak it fluently to save my life. In college when my teacher would ask me a question in Spanish I would understand perfectly and respond IN ENGLISH. (The reason I quit Spanish? Because I wanted to learn Portuguese. DID NOT HAPPEN. That and I had a crush on the prof... *shrugs* I removed myself from the situation. Moving on!)

I have also been extra interested in the French language lately, and I've always been interested in Paris so I figure I should learn the language I'm so interested in. I hate American tourists who think shouting, "BONJOURBONJOURBONJOUR" will get you service. Bad form. The boo box.

I have no idea how or when this will come about but I wanted to tell you about this goal before I forgot. I'm tagging this post "Life Goals" so I can look at them all at one time and say, "I HAVE COMPLETED THAT!" I'm a fan of lists. You should know this by now. I have no readers so... maybe you don't know this haha.

I'm currently obsessed with Joy the Baker and am feverishly copying down her Red Velvet Black & White Cookies for my mom to make because she'll make it in this decade and I will never get to it haha. I shouldn't say that.

New New Life Goal: Work on procrastination.

Have a Happy!

Have a hap-hap-happy new year!

love, baby new year.