Tuesday, January 11, 2011

i don't know if i should tell you this

I was reading over old blog entries last night and I briefly mentioned when I had a life of crime and stole something from Jewel. It's probably the funniest story ever... but a little personal... BUT I WANNA TELL IT SO BAD! Skip it. I'm gonna do it. Here goes...

About 2 years ago I worked for the Office of Marketing Communications at Olivet. I was running late that morning and speeding to work down 57 when I felt a little... squealchy. Squealchy isn't a word but... I feel like you understand what that word MEANS. *looks at your from over my glasses* so I was like "CRAP. I have to go to the store now cuz i have nothing with me. awesome."

I get off the road at my exit and head over to the Jewel by the university. I run in... head to the... ladies section and grab a packet of napkins and RUN to the bathroom in the store. I had already ripped the package open by the time I got there... sat down and put one on! And realized... that nothing was going on. I was all good. False alarm. Well now I had opened a package of sanitary napkins in a Jewel and now had to pay for something I didn't even need! So I walked around for a second with this opened package... before saying "I'M NOT PAYING FOR THIS!" stuffing in a random aisle behind something and walking out nonchalantly.

For the record I don't make a habit of stealing I just felt in this case it was needed and paying for it... was NOT needed because... in reality nothing was wrong.

I was trying to look inconspicuous while walking out of Jewel but I still felt super weird. I felt like people were staring at me too. I got out the door and looked down at my knee... and THERE IS THE SANITARY NAPKIN. ON MY KNEE. INSIDE MY PANTS. So there is what looks like a lumpy GROWTH on my knee... I FLIPPED out and started doing this crazy dance to shake it out from my knee. I'm sure if they have security camera's they laughed so hard they COULDN'T call the police. So I ended up shaking this sanitary napkin out of my pants (I'm laughing so hard right now) and discreetly threw it away in the garbage outside of Jewel.

Then I got in my car and drove to work where they didn't even notice I was late. So. Amazing.

Even though this was a while ago I'm laughing so hard right now... most ridiculous story EVER and it could only happen to me. Of course. Such is my life right? haha!

I hope your life has been enriched by this story of getting to know me better : )

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