Tuesday, November 11, 2008

i could go for the Weepies...

I thougth of a question! Two days later I thought of a question!!! and I just... wanted to let everyone know.

So last night needs to be documented. It was so horrible... let us begin.

The radiators in my apartment are evil. Pure. Evil. They are consistently hot even when you turn them off (radiator lesson: you turn the knob and heat comes up in the form of steam and you can regulate it with that knob) so try as you might you're boiling all night long in a big pit of... hottness. I made the mistake of turning my radiator on and letting my room warm up before I turned it off when I went to sleep - I like to snuggle and being cold nutures my snuggling habit. The radiator had other plans. It did not want to turn off and so it didn't. It got angry... then it got even. But that comes a little later in the story.

So I ended up going to sleep around 2 am pretty fitfully but I was asleep only to be woken up at 2:15 by the radiator focusing all it's pent up rage at being closed on me. The heat clangs the pipes (see It Was A Dark and Story Night?... below) when it comes up and last night was no different except it had a certain rhythm to it this time. The heat sounded like bongoes then when it got to the top it would ram at the opening and it sounded just like a motorcycle kickstarting itself. I wish I were joking. So the night went as follows:

2:15: boom... bing... bong... ding... dong... doom... boom...boom...boom boom bingbingbongdingDONGBOOM VRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! VRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!

2:30: bing... boom... bong... ding... dongdangdingBOOMBOOMBOOM VRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! VRRRROOOOOOOOOM!

and every 15 minutes the same thing would happen just to spite me i figured out so from 2:15 to 5 am i lay in bed eyes wide open staring at the ceiling wondering whether to sleep on the sofa... or open the radiator. If I open the radiator I would die from certain heat exhaustion if I kept on listening to it I would die from torture rivaling the Chinese. So at 5 am I turned on the lamp, adjusted my eyes and OPENED the radiator of Evil and flipped on the fan... all sound stopped it was happy and i went to sleep.
I also figured out that Hell is full of clangy vroomy crazy radiators that you can never open. I'm serious!

so now i have a permanent score to settle with... *THE WIIITCH!* the radiator.

unfortunately my life is so boring that this is the only exciting adventure i have at the moment.

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