friday night lights

I should just make a habit of posting on Friday nights because I will never DO anything on a Friday night. Not ever. on purpose.

In my boredom I began to think about all the things I wanted to do. Not just right now like the things I REALLY want to do. the... fuuuutuuuuure *echoes* woooooaaaahhhhh. After an eventful past couple days I've realized a few things. 1) I love children. 2) I am never getting a boyfriend. The two are completely unrelated but still very true. I had 3 field trips 3 days in a row this week and loved each one more than the next. The little girls... the divas that need braces but are the most popular (interesting how that works before 10... after 10 all bets are off.) and the little dudes who stuff their hands in their pockets, stare at the ground and look so dang adorable i can't quite stand it. Well... the boyfriend thing...

we interrupt this regularly scheduled blog time to bring you breaking news.

MY PHONE HAS BEEN RETURNED!!!!!

here's the scoop.

The police called me this evening to tell me that they had my phone to which I responded, "SHUT. UP. SHUT UP." then i promptly apologized for telling an officer of the law to shut up. He was nice. He understood. He didn't give me many details (I was so dazed I didn't want them) but the summary is... So you remember the people I originally thought took it? They didn't take it. It was a different guy... a guy I LOOKED IN THE FACE and asked if he had it and he told me no. They contacted his father and it was returned. If I saw him today it would still take a lot for me to not pimp slap him with my ring hand. It was totally God. I prayed... and I let it go. I HAD to cuz it was eating me alive! especially after i found out who ACTUALLY took the phone. I was LIVID. God just... was like 'don't sweat that i GOT this.' and took care of me! mind. blown. needless to say i'm really happy. excited to restore it and contact iTunes about the songs i lost annnnd yeah! *sigh* awesome. so awesome. God is good right? *pssst* the answer is YES.

Oh! I was talking about something completely different before this... oops! I'm too happy to finish now so I'll finish later. Future endeavors and stuff... we'll get to that. It'll be in some kind of bullet point probably haha

unspeakable things

This post is really random. It's about my love of ModCloth. I swear to bob if I was smaller I'd be SO BROKE cuz all my clothing would come from ModCloth and I'd be SUPER proud of that.

just a sampling haha

for a second focus on that coat. are you looking at it? is drool seeping from the sides of your mouth and your bellybotton? If I had children I would seriously consider selling them for this coat. It's. So. GORGEOUS. Every party dress, special occasion dress, omg-i-need-flour-for-these-cookies impromptu grocery store dress would come from here; paired with an awesome coat. Also who didn't know the word "occasion" had 2 c's and one s... i did not. anyway. I think that's a good goal. Get down small enough so I can wear a ModCloth large, which is like the normal worlds medium. Yay motivation! Omg I just glanced at that coat again and actually did the Homer "glaaaaauuuuugggghhhhh" drool. Can't. Even. Help it! BAH!

I also think it's funny that while I am probably the least girliest girl I know especially in comparison to say, girlGomez (I think I actually want to work for her someday), I happen to LOVE dresses and coats. I'm sure I'll still let out an outrageous burp... in that coat. I WILL get that coat.

What happens when your iPhone gets stolen

an ode. in bullet points.

• you cry
• you freak out
• you cry some more
• you track it with MobileMe
• you cry before, during, after tracking
• you imagine punching a 6 year old in the face when you never have before (ask me. it's within reason.) you imagine punching a highschooler turned thief in the face.
• you imagine punching an entire FAMILY in the face you apologize for thinking about punching an innocent family and their child in the face. sorry. about....that...
• you cry
• you're on the computer a LOT more aimlessly wandering between TopSites
• you forget to check your email for 3 days and when you do you have 29 in your inbox
• you sigh and stare off into space
• you pat your pants pockets often
• you get upset that you now have to redo all your achievements on Angry Birds
• you get upset because the Halloween version of Angry Birds is now gone from the app store
• you're glad you have MobileMe to contact your mother because you forgot what her work number is
• you lose communication with all of your work friends that have iPhones and don't know how to communicate any other way - it's hard to blame them because you were there but you're still sad and a little bitter about it
• you actually turn on Mail on your iMac because it'll send you the push notification of the beacon message being sent when they finally turn that dang phone on
• you cry
• you reconnect with AIM
• you post on your blog on a Friday night
• you realize what little social life you had before is now obliterated because you can't text anyone
• you fiddle with your fingers a lot
• you finish a knit hat within a day because there's nothing else to do
• you thank God for synching notes, bookmarks, contacts and calendars
• you feel disconnected from the entire world
• you cry. 

dires irae

Currently I'm grieving the loss of a good friend. That friend is a technological device that is able to be tracked and is currently in the possession of someone who doesn't deserve said friend, because they stole it. Who would have thought you could grieve the loss of an iPhone? You can. It's been a rough 24 hour period. I'm praying that God will restore property lost to me though. I'm praying that having something that doesn't belong to them makes them so restless and uncomfortable they have to find a way to get it back to where they stole it from - promptly.

My second grievance (actually it's not a grievance I'm just sad about it) involves my job. I was denied a position I interviewed... well this is the second time now and it's making me question my place in the company. Most of you know where I work. It's magical. I love talking to people and finding out about their lives and how what we make fits perfectly for them. It's interesting to find out the thing you enjoy doing is the very thing you're doing wrong. The thing you THOUGHT you had passion for someone gets to tell you, "yeah no this isn't it."and then they ALSO get to tell you, "oh but that wasn't a no!" and "don't be discouraged." and "I wanna help you find your place." How... do you expect me to not be discouraged when I'm either a) pissing off someone above me or b) just sucking THAT much. I thought I HAD found my place! Oh! Just kidding... no. Most people move on a fast track where I work. You come in you perform well and BOOM you move. I just am starting to feel like I have no value within the company and no path. I also don't want to quit (although today I thought about it about 15 times.) because I believe in what the company does. Apparently EVERYONE has a path even the people that didn't have a path totally found a path. Kinda feel like they broke the mold with me.

this all happened from 9 last night to today. so. you can sense my frustration and sadness (sadness is an understatement).  

into the thick of it

Before getting started I'd like to let you know that my header is totally a lyric from a Backyardigan's song. I'm not proud of it... I may have stumbled upon it whilst channel surfing one morning and never... turned... away.... OK ok let's get on with it.

a peek if you will...
I've come to a conclusion after 24 years of chick flicks, being the role of "best friend" for as long as I can remember and many many tearful nights over the DUMBEST things. Im gonna let you know that conclusion. It's one you're familiar with already. 


Guys can't be friends with girls. Wait... Scratch that... Reverse it. Girls can't be friends with guys. Here's why! :D!!


Girls can have an entire relationship dreamed up without ever holding hands looking at each other for long periods of time or even SEEING each other. It's cuz an emotional relationship always comes before the physical one. Whereas guys immediately head towards the physical and hit emotions later (maybe). Having only one successful guy relationship and countless failed ones there was one common thread. I knew too much. I knew the person inside and out; what made them tick, what made them laugh EVERYTHING. I'm practically all of Taylor Swift's songs inCLUDING the one where she specifically mentions Abigail - I mean come on!. Then after that emotional connection was made the natural progression was to want a physical relationship. It's natural! Except when you're friends emotional connections are continually made with no resolve. Enter every chick flick where the friend realizes she loves her best guy friend. MMMDUUUUUUH *taps head* duh. 


The guys that you're friends with usually have girlfriends or like YOUR friend. That physical connection is already taken care of which leaves the emotional part for the "bff". Enter the downfall of the female human race that thinks he'll wake up and see. Nay nay fluffy. Nay nay. (sorry Taylor.)


My one successful relationship is with my buddy Josh who is getting married this spring. I know him yet the emotional connection isn't NEARLY as strong as the one he has with his fiancé as God intended. Others I had a connection rivaling their significant others. Seeing a guy in a vulnerable state does something to both parties. It's dangerous territory, vulnerability. Its the fast road for smacking yourself in the head multiple times asking why you let yourself go there at all. First of all can I just say for a guy to look outside his relationship for a connection is ridiculous. For a girl not to recognize is also stupid. I'm a pot. I'm also a kettle. That kettle's black just like that pot haha. Scuse me... African American. Let's keep this pc obviously. 


It doesn't matter who the person is. You could not even be attracted to the person but it doesn't matter! Keep connecting enough and you'll fall for... anyone! Oh dear. Breathe in... exhale... 


Like the other 500 entries in this blog there isn't a point but I'm tired of being intensely wrapped up in a crazy emotional ride ending in heartache all the while masking as a friendship. If this came across as bitter and hateful I didn't mean for it to be I just think people don't know. And if you didn't know now you know. *the more you know music plays* 


Longest PSA ever right? I know! So sorry.  

super random

this may be really disjointed soooo BULLET POINTS! wahoo!

• I BAKED TODAY! I made Joy the Baker's (aka my BES. FRAN. no... no not really) chocolate brownies aka heaven on earth aka omg don't eat these if you have diabetes i'm not kidding. Bittersweet, dark AND milk chocolate were used in this recipe. Thoroughly. Pleased. 
• I really love to bake. Like, I never thought I would ever be in a kitchen for longer than 5 minutes. What started out with Joy the Baker's oatmeal has progressed into a true passion. I mean, really, it's about time. Have you met my mother?! Seriously the woman makes no sense with a spoon in her hand. Glad THAT gene kicked in!
• So there is a point, I think with everything where you're just like... DONE. No amount of talking or rationalizing will do and you're just finished. I'm one step past that point and it's a dangerous place to be. I'll say no more. 
• Why are McDonald's Coke's so FIZZY?! They're just so GOOD! and FIZZY!! 

did i NOT warn you this would make no sense? a peek into my brain folks. just a PEEK. 

life outside the bubble

Let me preface this entry with an explanation. Actually the explanation IS the entry not the preface. Ya know what I'm just gonna keep talking like the previous sentences didn't happen.

I loved Olivet. Like super extra loved it when I was there. Again it was filled with a lot of turmoil, a bunch of growth and more than half of it was band. I probably wouldn't change much except... well i bet you can guess. haha but anyways when I left I pretty much severed the ties that bound me there and moved on with my life. What freaks me out is when people DON'T sever those ties. I don't mean friends - dude I LOVE my Olivet friends. It's hard to explain. Everyone jokes that Olivet is a bubble... BUT IT'S A BUBBLE. When you're there you're like really HAPPY. I don't understand it but you just are... and that's great when you're there but it's not real.

A lot of development is made in college, which is exactly how college is supposed to progress but I swear to bob at Olivet it's different. You develop and then you arrest. It's like it stops. Just. Ceases. I've seen people be sincerely LOST after coming from Olivet because it didn't prepare them not one bit for reality. Awesome enough most of the friends I made happen to be the most grounded people I've ever met and Olivet's happy-go-Jesus-all-day-all-the-time mentality didn't stick. I love the people I met there but when I go back... my skin starts to itch and the walls close in and I have to leave the campus. Not just go outside for fresh air but outside the vicinity of Bourbonnais ITSELF. Cuz it's like a tangible mentality that starts to seep back in! And I remember "Oh hai, Abby, you live in the real world, have an actual job and are paying the loans that kept you here." and I'm literally RUNNING to my car.

I'm not saying that visiting is a bad thing nor am I hating on Olivet because seriously I love it... I'm not defined by it but it is a part of what made me, who I am! But it's weird when people's entire lives are now displaced without it...

this was a weeeird entryyy...

wading in the kiddie pool

I won't tell you how long it's been since I've actually done some heavy designing but I duo designed last night with a friend and... well there's mixed feelings. I'd love to completely gush about it and say it was amazing and why did I ever stop designing and where did I lose my creativity buuuut... I don't know! It was good! but... like inside I was SHAKING. Why? Maybe I just don't enjoy designing (aka making mistakes/trial&error) in front of someone else? I'm not sure.

The AWESOME thing was... the ideas just flowed! So I'm glad my brain isn't completely dead. That was a relief. My love of it hasn't gone away but my skills though... it's like I'm scared to touch a computer. Again when I'm alone if I don't know something? I'll get it done but just... in my own way. When you're with someone it's like I'm performing. Like I went to create an outline and my fingers hit my usual quick key for it and nothing happened so i freaked and stopped... If I was by myself I'd find that dang answer. I'm actually trying to right now haha.

I like the duo design (great name for a studio O.o??). it was like a brainstorm/creativity/design session all in one. And of course there was goofing around. For a good 15 minutes we just giggled about fonts. You can't do that with everyone haha... not everyone would get the humor in a FONT. But some people do, and those people are awesome - CLEARLY. Pretty sure D'Angelo was mentioned? But that's neither here nor there... details details *waves hand* I hope I keep doing this... I gotta wake myself back up! I've been sleep for too long.

Also Erasure's Always is playing right now in the salon, which makes me think of THIS. I'm peeing my pants I'm laughing so hard.

Hats for Baby Ella

I just finished my first knitting project, shipped, handled and all that jazz! I'm so excited. Baby hats are probably one of my favorite things to make... they're super quick and almost always turn out way more adorable than you ever expected... especially if you put a flower on them. hint: always put a flower on baby hats. it will turn even uncute babies (don't get me wrong... i love ALL babies but... i witnessed my first not cute baby and now i know. i've seen that light.) super cute.

A few quick pics for you.


yeah there's no way you can resist a baby in a hat with a flower. I'm not saying but really? I'm just saying.

for more information on how you can request knits and see what's for sale go here! for the complete story on why I'm knitting at ALL go here! : ) I'm also baking! That list is coming soon...

wordled

my plight! according to typography that... I didn't do but kind of enjoy cuz they're the colors of my blog haha... Enjoy!