Saturday, April 23, 2011

the secret hair club for black girls

i have just been inducted into a secret society. a tradition passed down through generations of black women. a privilege bestowed on only the most worthy of recipients. the gift... of hair.

now my whole life i've been blessed with "good hair" thick, long, fine grade hair that grows fast and looks... like a white girl. no joke that is the secret of good hair... if you can surpass the nappy headed stage and get long luxurious locks that are your OWN? you've been blessed with a gift. don't take it for granted! He giveth and taketh away. hair... follicles.

I'm letting you in on the biggest kept secret EVER. I mean it's not like white people talk about being white... til Stuff White People Like came out. If Stuff Black People Like ever were publicly released... there would be mass chaos in the streetz. like Step Up 6: In Da Streetz. A black woman could be broke, jobless, HOMELESS and still have a head full of weave. You think I'm kidding. It's an art form in the black community. Also it is not "fake hair". if you bought it? it is yours. your. hair.

For the wedding my mom decided it would be an awesome idea for me to get extensions since my dress in strapless and it shows a considerable amount of skin. i... kind of didn't agree but saw where she was coming from so the hunt started for 1. a stylist 2. a good price for a sew in* and 3. HAIR. I used to work in a salon & spa before the Square so I had good connections for a stylist and a price... i just needed the hair.

I ended up going to U.S. Beauty Supply down the street from my house where there's like a... black people central area on 183rd street. I wish I was kidding. It's like.... dollar store, chinese food, gyros, the ghetto version of sports authority, Moo&Oink, beauty supply, Kenny's Ribs, Harold's Chicken, A&P Deli, KFC, a barber and a hair salon. Seriously it's a one stop shop. You don't have to go ANYWHERE else. ever. for anything. I'm not being stereotypical I'm frickin SERIOUS haha

anyways there's this Korean lady named Sunny who owns the place with her husband, (tip 1. a good beauty supply WILL be owned by a Korean couple) and is the maven of hair. My mom and I stared at her for like 7 minutes while she blatantly talked on the phone to her friend about Easter and red meat. She was speaking  a different language but kept saying "Easter" and "red meat" intermittently. She also told us that's what she was talking about as soon as she got off the phone. I asked her for a certain brand of hair and she immediately rattled off what we needed. Seriously... if you're gonna buy hair you listen to Sunny... according to the two women behind me that SWEAR by her. Finally I got what I needed (i hope) and went to check out. Here went the conversation:

Sunny: you have membership caahrd?
Me: no...?
Sunny and the two women in line behind me: *pressed lips together* mmm.
Me: *look of horror* oh! uh... sorry!? um... *shame, embarrassment*


she actually TOOK my keys from me so she could attach the membership card to them. this card says AND I QUOTE, "U.S. Beauty Supply. Human Hair. Wig. Pony Tail. Nails. Beauty Supply."

I'm SO legit now. I will totally also post a picture of the finished product.

*a sew in is taking the hair and literally sewing it into your own hair which is braided in cornrows across your head. yup. INTENSE


  1. Seriously, the best dark hair on earth belongs to Asian women. No joke. And Native Americans.


    I just can't imagine sewing hair into your hair. How do you take care of something like that? I mean, eventually it'll loosen up and come out, right? Doesn't that hurt? I had cornrows once that I got while in Jamaica and you should have seen how much of my hair came out when I finally took them out! I thought my head would never feel the same!

    But, I hope you have fun with it...

  2. my hair comes straight from India. viaaa the beauty supply store.

    and who said anything about having fun?! are you KIDDING ME?! hahaha... yeah beauty is pain. and vice versa.

    you can actually wash it, dry it, curl it, crimp it... it's hair... so you treat it as such haha.

    crazy right?! it's a whole different world...

  3. This membership card sounds fantastic. I love what it says on it. P.S, I can't wait to see your sew in. Please next time I see you in real life remind me to tell you about my coworker's sew in disaster. Lolz.



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