SLW: more truths corrected

I just need to address a couple things floating around and correct the heck out of them. Because this here is real.

Single ladies are extroverted and proactive about their singleness:

That may be true... but I'm hella introverted. A high school friend walked into my job the other day and it was like doing some kind of ninja exercise of avoidance. Ducking... bobbing... weaving under and over tables just to NOT talk to someone. I may have to work on that. a bit. But really I like journals and the library. I'm pretty nerdy and I think silence is AMAZING. Lots of people are weirded out by that... But you're not right?

But I'm proactive about being single! Totally... proactive about going to Dairy Queen alone. Proactive to hog ALL of my bed and ALL of the pillows. Proactive to get a large popcorn at the movies and not share with a soul. Chyeah. I've got proactive in the bag.

Single ladies are up on the latest trends:

That is probably true haha. I'm gonna tell you something. I'm not sure what to DO with the whole neon trend... So apparently you pair it with neutrals? I almost picked up a neon hair flower today and had... no idea what to pair it with... other? neons? Please. Please help is what I'm asking. Also let's touch on blazers for a bit. Blazers + Abby = no. I think I need a tailored blazer legit. Either the middle fits but the arms are too big or the arms fit and the boob area needs some help. All in all a right out of the store blazer doesn't look great. Basically I wear what is a) comfortable b) fits and fits WELL and c) makes me look smokin' hot. The end.

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On a different note I actually had a FRICKINAWESOME SLW today. I went downtown with my good friend Anisha and we bought and ate...  all the things. All. All the things.

Apologies for this SLW being so random. I actually wrote out an entire post and wasn't feelin' it... and revised this one about 6 times and I still don't like it! You ever have days like that where writing just isn't flowing? It happens. I need to scrounge up some more ideas. If you have them? Please let me know! I'm just one single lady in a sea of others.

Happy Wednesday... the little bit left : )

SLW: musings (on exercise)

I feel like there is an unspoken pact by single women everywhere that you have to exercise A LOT. You have to be READY at any time to pounce on a man. It's like... the endorphins are... comparable to sex or something? Well if I was looking for comparable endorphins I would just get all the chocolate in the world. AMIRIGHT?!

Anyways...

For an update to last weeks "BREAKING NEWS" I did NOT join a gym. Hah. I sound and feel... awesome. But I have a reason! It was beautiful last week and I wanted to go for a walk when I realized I don't want to walk by myself all the time. My friend Anisha, who has just come back into town after 8 years of college and med school, asked if I wanted to start walking with her! An answered prayer! There's a 3.6 mile path down the street from me and today I toootally walked the whole thing.

Now I'm not sure what kind of thoughts people have while exercising but mine are pretty hostile...

*starts walking* woo! I'm walkin! Gettin healthy! Woo... sun's hot... woo. balls. it's hot as balls. can we turn around *turns around to see car 3ft away* I should... walk a little bit more.

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NO ONE FEELS MY PAIN! *a woman, bigger than I am, passes me... RUNNING* NO ONE AT AAAALL.

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*hot guy running passes her with his shirt off* OKAYOKAY STOP BRAGGING ABOUT IT.

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*somehow mistaking the mile markers* Omg we've walked 15 miles! FIFTEEN! THIS PATH IS FIFTEEN MILES?! I'm so awesome for walking 15 miles!! *gets to the end* omg we only walked THREE POINT SIX MILES?!?!?! *faints*

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As you can see... this is going to be one of those kicking and screaming journeys. Anisha LOVES exercise and I think that wishing yourself thin is the next big diet craze. This summer should be SUPER interesting.

It's a start... : )

*for more Single Lady Wednesday posts go here!


**if you'd like to be featured on SLW feel free to email me with submissions at: singleladyblujay@me.com

{about} having regrets

beautiful...

via swiss-miss

SLW: breaking news

I think I'm ready to join a gym...

yeah... you just let that sink in, little birdies...  

creative types

What do you design when you're designing for no one? I need to add more to my portfolio and there are only so many things I can think of that are fake. I need some help!

Any ideas?

A girl I used to work with always falls back to her favorites when she's designing. Can't think of anything? Clearly she's going to design something Bulls themed. I think it's a great idea. It plays to your strengths and your favorite things. I don't think future employers tire of seeing good designs of the same thing. That's why they call it a series.

 Guess I'll start designing all my favorite Chicago things soon. : )

26 pt. 2

As you get older expectations of birthday's change. As a little kid, birthday's were so SPECIAL. It was my day! The day I was born and you were NOT born on this day! I wanted balloons and a party and candles and the whole nine yards.

Nowadays I keep my birthday like a secret. No one knows why I'm smiling to myself or wearing red lipstick, but I do. I just want to lean over to the stranger next to me and say, "It's my birthday!" just to see their reaction. I also want do a little something for me every year, and that's exactly what I did.

I got my free Mocha Cookie Crumble from Starbucks and hopped on the train downtown to do a little blazer hunting. I started out at Zara (which I'd never been in before and really liked) and found some... that didn't fit me and headed to Anthropologie. I have a few issues with Anthro... mostly the price and the fact that I will never be small enough to fit in their clothing, but I went in anyway. I ended up finding a design journal and I really like it! I've been looking for a journal just to have with me so I can write or draw... WHATEVER when ideas strike. For me I really need to CONNECT with a journal. I hate Moleskine because everyone loves them... AND they don't lay flat. Hooray for Hemingway but Mallett does not approve. All other journals seem to be trying too hard. Does that make sense? This one is leather bound with an envelope closure and... it just clicked for me. I'm very happy.

Anthropologie journal 

The salesgirl wrapped it for me and asked if I wanted a gift receipt and I told her, "No... I think she'll like it : )" I'm a strange one...

In my searchings, I ended up at Forever 21, which is against all my rules. I rant on my soapbox about how tourists come from all over the world to the best city in the world... to shop at a place that is in every mall in America. But! They also have a great plus sized section and I ended up finding 2 of the CUTEST dresses I've ever laid eyes on. I want to make up parties just so I can wear these dresses for the rest of my life. Alas... no blazer.

I met up with my mom for sushi and pad thai at Bistro Pacific, who has the best sushi hands down. Sorry y'all. Gauntlet thrown. Then to Gap for one last blazer conquest... to no avail. I'm starting to think they don't make blazers for girls like me... or at least blazers that aren't found at Sears and... horribly ugly. My mom and I sang Happy Birthday at home over brownie a la mode with a tea light in it... cuz we ran out of candles... and I opened up my new letterpress kit (woo!). All in all it was a very good day : )

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I'm excited to head into the last half of my 20's but not without a moment of panic. I FLIPPED out at midnight last night when I realized there is no backing out of the 25-34 age group. There is no sitting on the edge of youth. There is NO excuse for throwing a tantrum in public. I have to embrace womanhood and responsibility at the same time?! Omg WHAT did you just say about my biological clock?!? And then my brain calmed down. I'm no longer 25 and I get to be a grown woman! My loans are still crippling and I may never move out but I'm grown! Oy. My life. Declaring adult hood is tiring. I'm gonna sit down.

I want to keep a "no excuses" attitude about things this year. There really is no excuse for me not handling my relationship with God better. It's all on me. There's no excuse for being AFRAID of a bike. I ride the bike... the bike doesn't sit on my back and ask me to pedal. Why didn't you get out of bed and do more today? No excuses, get to movin! I'm buyin' a new computer this year. And I'm going on a road trip this year! I plan on being in Palm Springs with Joy and Tracy at Homefries U in September and I'm going to STOP. FINALLY. STOP. obsessing about having a damn (sorry) boyfriend! I'm so DONE with thinking about it constantly! Crying over married couples that are happy! Watching sappy movies in tears - WHO AM I!? I don't have Single Lady Wednesday's to wallow in self pity, it's to empower and inspire.

Oh. Heck. Yes. this year WILL be great.

p.s. I've decided all the things in my future apartment will be furnished from Anthropologie - so just so you know.

26 pt. 1

Trust that there are thoughts I want to share surrounding this number but for now... I'm out drinking the largest free Mocha Cookie Crumble I can find and shopping for a blazer

I love birthdays : )

birthday.

I'm gonna speak on a subject that I never understood. My African-American Facebook friends and the fact that they LOVE their birthday. Way. too much.

If their birthday was Christmas... the day AFTER Christmas their Facebook status would be "364 DAYS TIL MY BIRTHDAY Y'AAAAALL! WE GON' DO IT UP BIG NEXT YEAR!" I've seen birthday celebrations last three days, I've seen them at EVERY major hotel, I've seen prom dresses on grown women, SHORT dresses on old women and themes.

To be honest... I get it. You're alive another year! Jesus be praised, you're aLIVE! So you should celebrate that! but counting down months in advance... planning elaborate parties that mostly just involve 1. the club (doesn't matter which club... it's the universal CLUB), 2. all your girlfriends past and present so they can see how good you look and 3. way too many sequins paired with all the eye make-up in the world is NOT the way to go.

On the opposite end of the spectrum... treating your birthday as just another day is WRONG. You're alive dangit! Look happy about that! Get a cupcake!

Personally on my birthday, I take off work and sleep in. I wake up and go to Starbucks to redeem my birthday drink and usually head downtown. Pizza might be involved. Sushi might be involved. I may shop a little for that business lady blazer I've been looking so long for. Buy that book that I've been wanting. But otherwise? I just want to enjoy the fact that I'm alive not CRASH into it head first. I want ice cream... and 14 extra hugs. and a pair of TOMS. and a walk by the lake. These are do-able things!

The club will ALWAYS be there... full of short dresses, group photos and all the "MY SOOONG!"'s you can handle. So leave it there. Find the friends and family that will truly celebrate you with a homemade cake and out of tune voices singing "Happy Birthday".

this post brought to you by the fact that my birthday is in a few days and I don't know what to do for it. and my Facebook friends' statuses. 

SLW: Ladies Lunch

When I was little the only thing I wanted was a burger and fries. Literally, everywhere I went. Breakfast? burger and fries. Fancy restaurant? You serve burgers right? It didn't matter. Well my mom being the brilliant woman she is invented something to shake me out of 'burger and fry' mode. She called it Ladies Lunch.

Every couple weeks she would take me and my sister to Marshall Field's. In the basement they used to have this awesome cafeteria filled with every kind of salad you could think of... and AMAZING. truly amazing desserts. (to this day I can't find a German Chocolate Cake to beat Marshall Field's - rest in peace) So I bound down there looking for, what else, burgers and fries, and my mom turns to me and says,"This is Ladies Lunch. You can only get what's here because that's what ladies eat. We can get burgers and fries somewhere else but here? We eat what ladies eat." *insert wide eyed little kid nod here*

For my little kid brain it made a whole lot of sense and I never complained. I ate chicken salad and pita sandwiches and german chocolate cake for dessert while sipping iced tea. Every time I went to Marshall Field's afterwards I would YELL for Ladies Lunch...  not knowing it was really NORMAL lunch? Without the presence of burgers and fries. My mom just wanted to train me to eat regular food. It worked.

I always end up thinking about Ladies Lunch when I pass a giant department store or am out eating with my mom and my sister and feel realllly civilized. I can't wait to share Ladies Lunch with my own daughters someday, but at the same time I love the single lady lunch. Meeting up with a friend (like I did with Keila this morning) and just eating and chatting... and then going on about your day.

Try a Ladies Lunch some time... make a point to go get sushi or something out of the ordinary - if your ordinary is Panera... maybe go get a burger and fries haha and catch up with a friend... or a good book.

Happy Wednesday!

p.s. - i bought the cutest pea swing coat from Gap for CHEAP cuz it was the end of the season? and was super sad I couldn't wear it til October but lo and behold it's COOL today!!! and I couldn't be happier cuz me and that coat had a DATE. : ) just wanted to throw that tid bit in there.

p.p.s - i look smokin' hot today.

typographic nerd alert.

I just spent the last half hour playing this.

and need someone else to go play it so I don't feel like a TOTAL nerd. 

too late. I already am.

click the picture to play... via how about orange

Gail Speaks: on grocery shopping

I've got a treat for you today. My mother, Gail Mallett (Ms. Mallett to everyone else) is lending her savvy wisdom to my blog. This is actually a response blog to Kate, of Diapers + Skinny Jeans, question on how to be better at grocery shopping. We typically shop at Walt's (local grocery store), Aldi, Target and Trader Joe's

To new moms or family's visiting my blog today, welcome! If you're questioning my mom's credibility know that she shopped as a single, working mom with small children, as a night shift nurse and wife with three kids and... as a single mom all over again. The woman is legit.

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A: What sort of food is essential to a house?

GM: Households should have items from which they can make things instead of pre-packaged items. Things like flour, sugar, baking soda & powder, rice, oatmeal - basically things you can get multiple uses out of - cornmeal, spices, chili beans, black beans, canned fruit and vegetables (in water)... PASTA! Always have pasta. 


It's really not as expensive to buy all these items because you can get so many meals out of one buy. Having pasta and rice is really essential... You're not trying to carb load your children but a cup of brown rice or quinoa paired with a vegetable and chicken... That's a tasty meal!

A: If a family is starting from scratch and wanting to pretty much build a good household of food... would you break it down into multiple lists? Like: staples, produce, meat?

GM: Well, produce is something you will have to get ANYWAY. You will just know that you need bread, milk, eggs and fruit every week. You know you have to make a list for that weekly. You'll need a list but not necessarily broken down. I do, however, break down food by what store I'm getting it from. If I know Target has the best sales on bread or I really like Trader Joe's peanut butter then I split the lists - but on the same index card. (we are lovers of index cards in this house - and the Notes app on iPhone)

A: Well we get a crate of eggs from GFS so it's not like we have to get eggs every week.

GM: True, but for people who want "fresh eggs" might have to buy them every week. I'm not sure how cost effective it is because the 30 eggs we get from GFS are less expensive than a dozen of eggs a week. 

A: When do you buy frozen?

GM: I think meat you can buy... well go shopping once a month or once every two weeks. Meat can be a pricey purchase so that's not something you necessarily WANT to do every week. Look for a good sale and you can buy the packs of ground beef, ground turkey, ground chicken and freeze them. Or you could divide up fresh meat in Ziploc bags and freeze them. 

A: Is it the same for organic meat/produce?

GM: Yes, but you have to understand organic foods are more expensive, and, clearly, more perishable because they aren't treated. But if you and your family have decided to go that way and you're okay with buying more frequently you wouldn't have to buy meat in bulk. Same goes for produce.

A: So where does a family SAVE money?

GM: You end up saving money when you MAKE your family food. You gotta... get with the mentality that if you want cookies, you make them. Biscuits? You make them. You want pancakes, you MAKE them. I never understood getting pancake mix when you have flour, sugar and baking powder IN your house. That's money you don't have to spend! And instant oatmeal is a great idea but the yield you get from those little packets is far less than buying a canister of old fashioned oats and adding whatever you want to it. You end up using the oatmeal for cookies and bread and hot cereal. It's about longevity. 

A: What about families with small children?

GM: I think it's even MORE important to have those staples like oatmeal and dried fruit - cranberries, apricots and raisins. Buy oranges instead of orange juice - you get the juice AND the fiber - orange juice is expensive. Apple sauce is good and not very expensive. Ice cream is a splurge... so you can't buy 6 gallons of it. 

A: So what does a grocery shopping trip look like?

GM: Lists are essential. We only buy A LOT about once a month and the week to week things should be, again, produce, milk and bread. Having a list keeps you focused. Even if you needed 3 or 4 things and you budget it out to about 30 dollars, without a list you go in and end up buying things you don't need, you forget things, and you ended up spending 75 dollars. Womp. (that was added by me) If you go every week, you can't spend 75 dollars because you are buying a lot once a month.

A: Is a shopping schedule good?

GM: I think so. Pick one day and make a list ahead of time... just don't go on Saturday afternoons. In my opinion, EVERYONE is already out and your kids are pulling at you every which way to buy EVERYTHING and then they're crying. No fun for them or you. 

A: Anything else? What about working moms?

GM: I think making things from scratch are good. I'm not saying you need to bake a loaf of bread every day to be considered a good mom but take things like granola... You bought oatmeal. You don't need to buy granola because you can make it! Buyings things you can cook with is great. Make multiple meals on one day and freeze them. When you come home it's not such a CHORE to "make dinner." All you're doing is taking out whatever was pre-made by you and adding maybe rice and a vegetable - or a simple salad. I wouldn't buy hot dogs or lunch meat because it's so loaded with sodium and it's expensive. Make soup for lunch or... if you make enough chicken breast take chicken, apple and grapes for lunch for you. 

A: So the more you get on a buying routine for your house, the easier it becomes to replenish a few things and not ALL the things

GM: Yes!


Also if you don't know how to shop... it usually means you're eating out, which in turn makes your kids picky eaters. How do you expect your kids to all of a sudden like home cooked meals if you eat out 5 of 7 nights a week? Kids will eat when they're hungry, they won't starve. Show me a kid that will turn away an apple and peanut butter... it's protein, it's fiber and it's good for them. Really a kid just sees that throwing a fit will get them chicken nuggets and it's working... someone is being trained here and it's not the kid. I'm saying this because I've been there... Being a mom is tough.

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Did my mom just drop some knowledge? I think so. Sorry if that last part is kind of controversial but it's the truth. I love Tracy Shutterbean's approach to food with her son Cooper. You gotta be innovative sometimes to get them to eat good things. PINTEREST gave her the idea for frozen yogurt dots and they're all the rage now!

Good luck on your shopping endeavors! It can be tough to bat down a routine but it CAN be done and you really save money in the long run. Have fun with it!...and May the 4th be with you. : )

SLW: musings

I find myself alone a lot, just thinking to myself about nothing and everything. Here's what single ladies think of...

You ever have to WILL yourself out of your bed? Today is that day. I had to promise myself ice cream... and that's how I got out of bed. But all I did is roll out of bed and go to my computer, which is a short 1 foot away. I'm doing super awesome today. 

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I have a serious case of baby fever. I think my uterus sheds tears when it sees babies. Somehow almost every blogger I read has a small baby or is pregnant and I am DYIN' on the inside! This single lady was meant for motherhood. Otherwise I'm gonna have to make a profession out of walking up to strangers and holding their babies for at least 5 minutes. Future hubs? Know I want at least 4 babies. Prepare for this now.

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Is it legal for me to have thigh hair this long?? I shouldn't try to braid this... It will bring shame upon my family.

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*looks at feet* toes! paint yourself!

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Every day I get up with the intention of eating healthy. I find myself craving water, and roasted vegetables mixed with couscous and dates until my brain remembers there are fried potato products in the world... and that craving goes away. It's a tough battle, but it's a real one. 

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I changed my header! I quite like it... especially my little blue jay that has made a nest in my crazy hair. I want to try and teach myself calligraphy in my quest for typographic excellence. Turns out... no one really gives classes for them! I don't really like traditional calligraphy either... I guess I would categorize it as Pinterest Calligraphy. 


Clearly... the mind of a single lady is that of a spaghetti noodle... it really has no rhyme or reason... it just loops along ridiculously until it lands on something concrete. I'm gonna try and do something productive with my life today - Happy SLW : )