As you get older expectations of birthday's change. As a little kid, birthday's were so SPECIAL. It was my day! The day I was born and you were NOT born on this day! I wanted balloons and a party and candles and the whole nine yards.
Nowadays I keep my birthday like a secret. No one knows why I'm smiling to myself or wearing red lipstick, but I do. I just want to lean over to the stranger next to me and say, "It's my birthday!" just to see their reaction. I also want do a little something for me every year, and that's exactly what I did.
I got my free Mocha Cookie Crumble from Starbucks and hopped on the train downtown to do a little blazer hunting. I started out at Zara (which I'd never been in before and really liked) and found some... that didn't fit me and headed to Anthropologie. I have a few issues with Anthro... mostly the price and the fact that I will never be small enough to fit in their clothing, but I went in anyway. I ended up finding a design journal and I really like it! I've been looking for a journal just to have with me so I can write or draw... WHATEVER when ideas strike. For me I really need to CONNECT with a journal. I hate Moleskine because everyone loves them... AND they don't lay flat. Hooray for Hemingway but Mallett does not approve. All other journals seem to be trying too hard. Does that make sense? This one is leather bound with an envelope closure and... it just clicked for me. I'm very happy.
In my searchings, I ended up at Forever 21, which is against all my rules. I rant on my soapbox about how tourists come from all over the world to the best city in the world... to shop at a place that is in every mall in America. But! They also have a great plus sized section and I ended up finding 2 of the CUTEST dresses I've ever laid eyes on. I want to make up parties just so I can wear these dresses for the rest of my life. Alas... no blazer.
I met up with my mom for sushi and pad thai at Bistro Pacific, who has the best sushi hands down. Sorry y'all. Gauntlet thrown. Then to Gap for one last blazer conquest... to no avail. I'm starting to think they don't make blazers for girls like me... or at least blazers that aren't found at Sears and... horribly ugly. My mom and I sang Happy Birthday at home over brownie a la mode with a tea light in it... cuz we ran out of candles... and I opened up my new letterpress kit (woo!). All in all it was a very good day : )
--------------------------------------------------------------I'm excited to head into the last half of my 20's but not without a moment of panic. I FLIPPED out at midnight last night when I realized there is no backing out of the 25-34 age group. There is no sitting on the edge of youth. There is NO excuse for throwing a tantrum in public. I have to embrace womanhood and responsibility at the same time?! Omg WHAT did you just say about my biological clock?!? And then my brain calmed down. I'm no longer 25 and I get to be a grown woman! My loans are still crippling and I may never move out but I'm grown! Oy. My life. Declaring adult hood is tiring. I'm gonna sit down.
I want to keep a "no excuses" attitude about things this year. There really is no excuse for me not handling my relationship with God better. It's all on me. There's no excuse for being AFRAID of a bike. I ride the bike... the bike doesn't sit on my back and ask me to pedal. Why didn't you get out of bed and do more today? No excuses, get to movin! I'm buyin' a new computer this year. And I'm going on a road trip this year! I plan on being in Palm Springs with Joy and Tracy at Homefries U in September and I'm going to STOP. FINALLY. STOP. obsessing about having a damn (sorry) boyfriend! I'm so DONE with thinking about it constantly! Crying over married couples that are happy! Watching sappy movies in tears - WHO AM I!? I don't have Single Lady Wednesday's to wallow in self pity, it's to empower and inspire.
Oh. Heck. Yes. this year WILL be great.
p.s. I've decided all the things in my future apartment will be furnished from Anthropologie - so just so you know.