tony bourdain is not the man

OBSERVATION!
so i was on my way to the library this afternoon when i came across two girlfriends walking into one of the little... downtownie shops complaining about how she wasted her yesterday. the other girl said, 'you needed it.' and i smiled. It's funny how girlfriends condone laziness and consent to gluttony when necessary. Like if you have a bad day? eat your weight in chocolate. Bad break up? Lie on the couch. I'll get the Ben and Jerry's Pistachio Pistachio (my favorite b the w) and usually the ulterior motive is to make yourSELF feel better and not the other person haha. It's also weird how we categorize our problems as girls and friends of girls. Since when does one problem trump the other? Like boys clearly trumps you being jobless and having no money. Or frustration clearly trumps family problems. A broken friendship trumps that broken friendship it's just... it's CRAZY but thats the way things work i guess because it hasn't changed much in the history of girls being friends with each other. *shrugs* Boys are the Ace of spades in the card game of life... aces always win everything is else is definitely a smaller card haha. (then it makes me think of Motorhead "The ace of spaaaades! the ace of spaaades!")

i have no idea what this entry means i just thought it and decided to write it down. i'm also not mad or frustrated... this was a serious stream of conciousness as you can tell by Motorhead.

but... i definitely get the friend skills from my mom... comfort... hug hug... PROBLEM SOLVE... move on! lets get past this WHOOO PEP RALLY FOR MOVIN OOON YEAAAAAH! haha it doesn't work well in a lot of situations which maaay explain the miniscule amount of friends i have. so usually i just shut my mouth and listen. that works better most times :0)

once there was a princess... was the princess you?

so have you ever had favorite people? my two favorite people have the same name. It's uncanny but true. they just blow me away and i want to be them. completely serious haha

thats!... all i have to say!

It was a dark and stormy night? It was Monday.

Like the title says it was Monday... and I was sitting in my apartment enjoying "How I Met Your Mother" theatre style, which, of course, means lights off and possibly a cup of Oreo Cookies and Cream ice cream in my hand. (Probably) I was just settling down when I heard a faint knocking sound. I thought nothing of it and kept watching... slash eating the frozen deliciousness. Then the knocking got louder. Loud enough for me to turn my volume down and really listen.
"The neighbors are REALLY hammering something into the wall at this time of night? Come on. Save it for the day time."
I turned the volume back up and kept enjoying.
The knocking became more consistent... and louder... and closer. I started looking out windows and up at the ceilings and down at the floor.
I yelled to my mother, "Mom! Quit hammering so late!" There was no response. I got up to look and she was already asleep. What IS that noise?
Not thinking about it any more I sat down to watch whatever I was watching. By that time I was so distracted I didn't care what was on.
Suddenly there was clanging all around me and I jumped off the couch. The floors and windows began to shake as the clanging got louder and louder it sounded like something was getting closer. Whatever it was.
Clang, clang, clang, clang CLANGCLANGCLANG!!
Then as quickly as it started... it stopped. And then... I heard it.
k-k...kssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
The windows started to fog up... and still the sound ksssssssss came low and slow and steadily louder. I rushed over to all the lamps and switched them on then stood stock still in the middle of the room. A warmth rushed over me and my toes began to wiggle.
I realized the commotion was just what the radiators do when the heat comes up. It happens every night. And I'm totally used to it... but Monday nights will never be the same.

*somewhere a pipe organ plays scary music*
boo.

take me to the place i looove take me far away

i had to make myself a little rhyme to remember the title to this blog... isn't that sad? every time i post a song immediately worms its way into my head so i forget all about the title i was originally gonna put down. NOT THIS TIME! NOT ME! anyway.

The other day i was cleaning greens - yes greens - at the sink and i had a weird thought. Well it wasn't that weird. Isn't it funny that who you are when you're little doesn't change much when you get older? When I was small I used to push my chair up against the sink and stand on it and clean greens with my mom. I was super short - able to walk under the table without ducking at a moments notice - and I always wanted to help so the chair was clearly the only option. When I cleaned greens last week what did i do without hesitation? Push the stool backwards up against the sink and sit on it... well this time cuz i didn't have to stand and I wanted to sit. I tried to validate that in my head but it didn't work. Old habits die hard I guess. I'm still the short little girl I always was cleaning greens the way my mom taught me and the way I will eventually teach my own daughter.

Here's another example: When I was little I had a toy drawer in the kitchen. It was filled to the brim with toys and junk and stuff and every couple of weeks I would take all the toys methodically out set them on the floor and proceed to sit in the drawer. Just. Cuz. Later on in life like a few years later I was still young but I would just take all the toys out then put them back in until they got all messy again and I couldn't find my GirlTalk recorder then i cleaned it again. I do that with my closet. It's no bigger than a drawer i swear and every few months i methodically take out all my shoes my art box and purses. clean it then put it all back. and my mom laughs at me then reminds me of 'that one time when i sat in the drawer'

Even though i have more life experience and wisdom (sometimes) and apparently a degree i came here with a personality from day 1 and it's the same. So fun. God is so fun.

Also... whyy did God give us eyebrows? I just... i mean i enjoy the "how YOU doin?" eyebrows at much as the next person but... i mean why? just a question...

next blog: a GHOST story! or something like that... :0)

my love has got the power

I have this ankle. Actually I have two ankles but the left one in particular is special. Special in that it can tell when the weather is changing. I rolled it approximately three times during the course of it holding me up and being a bridge if you will between my foot and my calf. once was during gym. once was in A gym. once was outside. all of these led me to the fact that i'm not friends with athletics. but anyway this week the weather was hot then cold and hot and cold... and my ankle felt like it had to crack or stretch but it wouldn't! and finally i told my mom and she said 'oh yeah it'll probably do that forever'

so in 50 years... i'll tell my grandkids "IT'S GONNA BE THE WORST STORM EVER IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA! I can feel it.... In my ANKLE!"

awesome grandmaaaa

goin back to the start

A scenario then a question.

Scenario: things are bad. things are SO bad. So bad that I don't want to move forward I just want a machete and I want to cut everything at the quick. I'm tired... and finished. But I'm lying cuz i'm not finished... at all. And as much as I want to just say what I need to I can't because I've said EVERYTHING. I'm serious I've said everything that ever needs to be said. EVER. And now it's their turn.

Question: How does one go about starting over... without actually saying lets start over?

i think that i'm emotional haha... understatement i know that i'm emotional. and i'm dealing with this ALL wrong. and I need to go back to the start and get out my dang Bible and start reading cuz... i'm slipping big time... bah.

everythings gonna be fine fine fine

I have "One Hand In My Pocket" by Alannis Morrissette stuck in my head (and the other ones givin a peace sign!) i just thought i'd throw that out there... i usually have a song in my head every time i start an entry... at least its not the dixie chicks.

my head is swimming... swimming with thoughts of cardboard and facebook and apple juice slushes from sonic... there is way too much to think about...

so i've started doing the Biggest Loser (haha i almost spelled biggest lobster) on OnDemand and they are KILLEEER!!! but effective!

I had a dream the other night that school merged with church and it was disastrous... people marrying people and making babies that were 12 years old... church functions in the Tiger's Den... my mortal enemy that was in all my classes stalking and eventually marrying the one guy i truly like (LOVE) at church... that same guys little brother liking ME... too much!!! oh! and the wedding was in Kresge.

the heat is on! the heat is o-on! in my apartment the heat FINALLY came up through the radiators!!!! YAAAAAAY! and with that i'm leaving to drop off movies and BASK in the heat of my apartment!

drip drip drop

i had a whole title picked out but then "move along" by All-American Rejects popped into my head and I lost it.

which makes me think of the kid on Animaniacs who always runs out to the front of the screen and tells a story like this: "okay see so this one time i had a dream that i was in a pool floating on my back and i had this life raft next to me and it was talking and when i woke up?..... i was in the kitchen sink and the dog was licking my face." and then he runs back into the house. thats how the above story went.

i'm going to pick up the small ones today for a weekend o' fun. sort of. i have to bring my car into the shop tomorrow for an oil change... whoopee cushion...

i'm slightly stressed out and i'm trying not to be... funds are low i really need a job and i'm praying i just... have bills thats all that no one else can take care of cuz i'm 22 and not 12... its hard to be my normal chipper random self when i'm worried about paying for parking and insurance and student loans... oh God please help me...

my lips hurt... ok. i'm goin home to... eat? i believe... and then pick up the little ones.

lovefluv.