into the thick of it

Before getting started I'd like to let you know that my header is totally a lyric from a Backyardigan's song. I'm not proud of it... I may have stumbled upon it whilst channel surfing one morning and never... turned... away.... OK ok let's get on with it.

a peek if you will...
I've come to a conclusion after 24 years of chick flicks, being the role of "best friend" for as long as I can remember and many many tearful nights over the DUMBEST things. Im gonna let you know that conclusion. It's one you're familiar with already. 


Guys can't be friends with girls. Wait... Scratch that... Reverse it. Girls can't be friends with guys. Here's why! :D!!


Girls can have an entire relationship dreamed up without ever holding hands looking at each other for long periods of time or even SEEING each other. It's cuz an emotional relationship always comes before the physical one. Whereas guys immediately head towards the physical and hit emotions later (maybe). Having only one successful guy relationship and countless failed ones there was one common thread. I knew too much. I knew the person inside and out; what made them tick, what made them laugh EVERYTHING. I'm practically all of Taylor Swift's songs inCLUDING the one where she specifically mentions Abigail - I mean come on!. Then after that emotional connection was made the natural progression was to want a physical relationship. It's natural! Except when you're friends emotional connections are continually made with no resolve. Enter every chick flick where the friend realizes she loves her best guy friend. MMMDUUUUUUH *taps head* duh. 


The guys that you're friends with usually have girlfriends or like YOUR friend. That physical connection is already taken care of which leaves the emotional part for the "bff". Enter the downfall of the female human race that thinks he'll wake up and see. Nay nay fluffy. Nay nay. (sorry Taylor.)


My one successful relationship is with my buddy Josh who is getting married this spring. I know him yet the emotional connection isn't NEARLY as strong as the one he has with his fiancé as God intended. Others I had a connection rivaling their significant others. Seeing a guy in a vulnerable state does something to both parties. It's dangerous territory, vulnerability. Its the fast road for smacking yourself in the head multiple times asking why you let yourself go there at all. First of all can I just say for a guy to look outside his relationship for a connection is ridiculous. For a girl not to recognize is also stupid. I'm a pot. I'm also a kettle. That kettle's black just like that pot haha. Scuse me... African American. Let's keep this pc obviously. 


It doesn't matter who the person is. You could not even be attracted to the person but it doesn't matter! Keep connecting enough and you'll fall for... anyone! Oh dear. Breathe in... exhale... 


Like the other 500 entries in this blog there isn't a point but I'm tired of being intensely wrapped up in a crazy emotional ride ending in heartache all the while masking as a friendship. If this came across as bitter and hateful I didn't mean for it to be I just think people don't know. And if you didn't know now you know. *the more you know music plays* 


Longest PSA ever right? I know! So sorry.  

super random

this may be really disjointed soooo BULLET POINTS! wahoo!

• I BAKED TODAY! I made Joy the Baker's (aka my BES. FRAN. no... no not really) chocolate brownies aka heaven on earth aka omg don't eat these if you have diabetes i'm not kidding. Bittersweet, dark AND milk chocolate were used in this recipe. Thoroughly. Pleased. 
• I really love to bake. Like, I never thought I would ever be in a kitchen for longer than 5 minutes. What started out with Joy the Baker's oatmeal has progressed into a true passion. I mean, really, it's about time. Have you met my mother?! Seriously the woman makes no sense with a spoon in her hand. Glad THAT gene kicked in!
• So there is a point, I think with everything where you're just like... DONE. No amount of talking or rationalizing will do and you're just finished. I'm one step past that point and it's a dangerous place to be. I'll say no more. 
• Why are McDonald's Coke's so FIZZY?! They're just so GOOD! and FIZZY!! 

did i NOT warn you this would make no sense? a peek into my brain folks. just a PEEK. 

life outside the bubble

Let me preface this entry with an explanation. Actually the explanation IS the entry not the preface. Ya know what I'm just gonna keep talking like the previous sentences didn't happen.

I loved Olivet. Like super extra loved it when I was there. Again it was filled with a lot of turmoil, a bunch of growth and more than half of it was band. I probably wouldn't change much except... well i bet you can guess. haha but anyways when I left I pretty much severed the ties that bound me there and moved on with my life. What freaks me out is when people DON'T sever those ties. I don't mean friends - dude I LOVE my Olivet friends. It's hard to explain. Everyone jokes that Olivet is a bubble... BUT IT'S A BUBBLE. When you're there you're like really HAPPY. I don't understand it but you just are... and that's great when you're there but it's not real.

A lot of development is made in college, which is exactly how college is supposed to progress but I swear to bob at Olivet it's different. You develop and then you arrest. It's like it stops. Just. Ceases. I've seen people be sincerely LOST after coming from Olivet because it didn't prepare them not one bit for reality. Awesome enough most of the friends I made happen to be the most grounded people I've ever met and Olivet's happy-go-Jesus-all-day-all-the-time mentality didn't stick. I love the people I met there but when I go back... my skin starts to itch and the walls close in and I have to leave the campus. Not just go outside for fresh air but outside the vicinity of Bourbonnais ITSELF. Cuz it's like a tangible mentality that starts to seep back in! And I remember "Oh hai, Abby, you live in the real world, have an actual job and are paying the loans that kept you here." and I'm literally RUNNING to my car.

I'm not saying that visiting is a bad thing nor am I hating on Olivet because seriously I love it... I'm not defined by it but it is a part of what made me, who I am! But it's weird when people's entire lives are now displaced without it...

this was a weeeird entryyy...

wading in the kiddie pool

I won't tell you how long it's been since I've actually done some heavy designing but I duo designed last night with a friend and... well there's mixed feelings. I'd love to completely gush about it and say it was amazing and why did I ever stop designing and where did I lose my creativity buuuut... I don't know! It was good! but... like inside I was SHAKING. Why? Maybe I just don't enjoy designing (aka making mistakes/trial&error) in front of someone else? I'm not sure.

The AWESOME thing was... the ideas just flowed! So I'm glad my brain isn't completely dead. That was a relief. My love of it hasn't gone away but my skills though... it's like I'm scared to touch a computer. Again when I'm alone if I don't know something? I'll get it done but just... in my own way. When you're with someone it's like I'm performing. Like I went to create an outline and my fingers hit my usual quick key for it and nothing happened so i freaked and stopped... If I was by myself I'd find that dang answer. I'm actually trying to right now haha.

I like the duo design (great name for a studio O.o??). it was like a brainstorm/creativity/design session all in one. And of course there was goofing around. For a good 15 minutes we just giggled about fonts. You can't do that with everyone haha... not everyone would get the humor in a FONT. But some people do, and those people are awesome - CLEARLY. Pretty sure D'Angelo was mentioned? But that's neither here nor there... details details *waves hand* I hope I keep doing this... I gotta wake myself back up! I've been sleep for too long.

Also Erasure's Always is playing right now in the salon, which makes me think of THIS. I'm peeing my pants I'm laughing so hard.

Hats for Baby Ella

I just finished my first knitting project, shipped, handled and all that jazz! I'm so excited. Baby hats are probably one of my favorite things to make... they're super quick and almost always turn out way more adorable than you ever expected... especially if you put a flower on them. hint: always put a flower on baby hats. it will turn even uncute babies (don't get me wrong... i love ALL babies but... i witnessed my first not cute baby and now i know. i've seen that light.) super cute.

A few quick pics for you.


yeah there's no way you can resist a baby in a hat with a flower. I'm not saying but really? I'm just saying.

for more information on how you can request knits and see what's for sale go here! for the complete story on why I'm knitting at ALL go here! : ) I'm also baking! That list is coming soon...

wordled

my plight! according to typography that... I didn't do but kind of enjoy cuz they're the colors of my blog haha... Enjoy!