Adventures!

I've been commissioned! For food that is. I'm making a friend's wedding cheesecake (CHEESECAKE) for her impending nuptials this weekend and I am exCITED. I can't even fully talk about it... I just keep smiling and nodding and showing people THIS PICTURE of the tester cheesecake. and then smiling and nodding. Such is my life.

Bacon caramel chocolate cheesecake that shouldn't make sense but it does. It makes ALL of the sense that has ever been made ever. This should be it's own category really.

Can you tell I'm slightly excited?? I'll update with how everything turns out after Saturday.

Here's to new adventures!

Single Lady Talks Real II

Respect yourself enough to be well satisfied with how you look when you leave the house. If it means you HAVE to shower then you need to get up earlier. I don't always shower daily - who does... DON'T JUDGE - but you will never EVER know it. If I'm running to get something from the store, even if I'm out for 5 minutes, put on skinny jeans not sweatpants, earrings not a hoodie.

Do your hair. WASH your hair at least. Your limp noodle greasy high school zero period hair no longer cuts it as a lady in the real world. 

Not a huge make-up fan? I totes am NOT. But! Tinted lip balm is a thing that is awesome. Heck VASELINE works as lip gloss. Just do it. 

Know these things and have them in your arsenal of power. They'll never fail you.

You deserve to be respected. Respect yourself. 

is it okay that i think having an arsenal of power is thing that needs to be real? yeah... 

(the only acceptable time I've found running out in pj's is okay is for emergency ice cream. EMERGENCY. ICE CREAM. is REAL.)

SLW does shopping

Sometimes you just have to get yourself up, get yourself to Starbucks in spite of the sky looking like it's going to rain down terrible things on you and GO SHOPPING. Turns out I'm REALLY good at shopping too. I got all sorts of unnecessary but DEFINITELY necessary goodness.

Like...

...the worlds most perfect mustard yellow cardigan known to man. Thank you Arissa for your infinite widsom.

...a shake... from Godiva chocolate. Yeah... next to the chocolate covered strawberries and behind the champagne truffles they make SHAKES. You know what I think they put in it?  HEAVEN. 

...Well this one is fuzzy because I walked into Paper Source and I BLACKED OUT. And I woke up outSIDE of Paper Source with a giant bag of things. I'm gonna leave it at that. 

......the same thing happened at Sur La Table! Wouldn't you just know it.........

... I decided not to get anything from Lush because their sales people are all up in your face! What's up with that... even at MY job we don't do that. I get that your bucket smells like ROSES but please. Back up off. I think if I had a tub that was big enough for baths I'd like it more. 

check that cardigan action!

All in all it was a good, MUCH NEEDED day.

Happy Wednesday!

p.s. - I wore my blazer today! I mean WHAT!? I had on jade green pants and a BLAZER. Who am I?!
p.p.s. - I need to change my girls clothes up there. It is NOT tank top weather anymore...

What to do when you have to poop at Target

1. You ignore it. You keep walking, picking up that knitted throw blanket with interest. There is no urge. I don't even know what poop IS.

2. You start running through aisles knocking everything into your cart that you think you need, but have totally forgotten cuz all you can think is that you need to poop. "I HAVE TO GET EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. AND TAKE IT HOME. DO I NEED THESE DOG TREATS?! I DON'T HAVE A DOG BUT I'M GONNA GET THEM. *keeps running* JUST GET IT IN MY HOUSE AND RUN TO THE BATHROOM."

3. You stop randomly in the middle of aisles, just WILLING your intestines to not feel what they're feeling.

4. You justify it. You're a grown woman. THIS is a NATURAL part of LIFE for Pete's sake! You walk briskly to the bathroom before you poop your pants because this is an actual thing that may happen at any moment.

5. When another woman walks in and does the same thing you think, "I don't judge you. We are kindred. We are HUMANS. This is natural. HUZZAH TO YOU."

6. You continue shopping leisurely, contemplating whether or not to get BOTH colors of washi tape. And you do... you do.

** this may or not be a real story based off my life

SLW: grey days

I am READY for today. The past week has just been customers yelling at me because I can't MAKE an iPhone from scratch to give to them and lots and LOTS of things to fix. It ended with me lying face down on my living room floor. Adult temper tantrums are real guys. They're SUCH a thing.

Today is a quintessential Chicago fall day. Grey skies and the trees have officially turned all my favorite colors. Though if the trees could turn mint green I would really enjoy that...

Today is...

...a day to lay in bed and play Bejeweled until you can actually feel your stomach eating itself.

...a day for a large cup of coffee... only to pour that cup into a LARGER cup of coffee. and pour more coffee into that larger cup

...a day for Rainbow Cake (I will have to break down the anatomy of this cake) AND ice cream. For breakfast. VALIDATED.

...a day for TARGET. To browse the aisles slowly, not looking for anything in particular. Except maybe more things from Patch NYC. 

...a day to listen to the church bells that play 20 feet from my apartment at 12 and 6 every day. It makes me feel like I'm in a movie - it CAN'T be real right? 

...a day to find Diary of a Mad Black Woman on tv and sincerely enjoy watching all of it unabashedly. I'm not even a little bit ashamed!

...a day to listen to my Temper Trap & Passion Pit playlist on shuffle all day long. 

...a day just to take some quiet time for yourself... when the entire week has just been one long yell. And remembering to be thankful always. 



Happy Wednesday everyone! Slow down just for like 5 minutes today. Have popcorn for dinner. No one's judging!

p.s. if you follow me on Twitter sorry for all the yelling gripes this week. Was I kidding about the adult tantrums? I was not. It's a new day though : )

SLW: single lady advantages

Lately I have succumbed to "the loneliness" which I'm pretty sure is it's own entity. It befalls single women when they see no less than 10 friends on Facebook deliver fresh and cute babies, no less than 4 get engaged in the same weekend, no less than 5 get married and no less than 40 BILLION become pregnant all at the same. dang. time. It's like SYNCHRONIZE YOUR WATCHES! And as much as I love... rejoicing over the good news about your adooorable baby that sleeps SO WELL, your giant sized engagement ring, looking through your 500 picture album of your wedding like my fingers can't control themselves, and the beautiful, fertile, fact that your baby is now the size of a cumquat *squee! barf.* I really cannot handle it... anymore. Cue crying myself to sleep. Lamenting over lack of man. Overdosing on ice cream. Imminent, infinite, food comas caused by pity baking sessions.

I'm tired of hearing MYSELF complain because I truly am happy about other people's joy. These are all awesome, amazing occasions that no one should censor... just at the end of MY day I sleep in a twin bed with a pillow aptly named by Bed, Bath & Beyond as "boyfriend" ya know? These are things that happen.

There are advantages to both sides of the coin though. I get to see all the married/pregnant advantages... daily (thanks Facebook.) but rarely do I remember that single ladies HAVE IT GOOD.

For starters... no pants! no bra. I can scratch my own arm pit at home without the slightest afterthought of "if I do this... will you think I don't wash there?"
Ice cream as dinner
Ice cream as BREAKFAST
Brownie as breakfast before ACTUAL breakfast
No pressure to shave... A THING.
Sleeping.
Sleeping in.
Sleeping in, getting up, eating, and SLEEPING AGAIN!
Burping loudly.
Buying Coca-cola for the express intention of burping loudly
Going out, lookin' sexy for no dang reason!
Lipstick on a Monday.
wearing ALLL the granny panties. no risk!
I cook for me! and no one else. What picky eaters?
Pizza in the morning
Pizza in the evening
Pizza at supper time
Pizza on a bagel
PIZZA ANYTIME.
substitute fries for "pizza" too
SO MUCH ONLINE SHOPPING
doing all those crazy crafts without your husband being like 'what... are you DOING'
baking decadent things and leaving them there knowing i can come back AND THEY'LL STILL BE THERE
Hmmm... road trip? ROAD TRIP!
Watching the A&E version of Pride & Prejudice while knitting, then starting Downton Abbey from Season 1 without a PEEP
Shower drinking. (Thank you Joy.)
Talking to Siri for way too long
Target's having a sale on cardigans!
Should I spend the last of my paycheck on Starbucks? YES.

The list goes on and on... Most of this list involves borderline gluttony and unkempt armpit hair in public. This is just a fun reminder that it's okay that I'm single when I feel like it's starting to be a stigma.

Thanks for listen to me rant for a bit. I needed a good rant haha

SLW: the future's present

This SLW I'm actually working - womp waaaa - so I'm trying to soak up my off time by reading every techie blog there is for a few. Thank God for the notes app on my phone; I can write whenever inspiration hits. Happy Wednesday!

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As a single girl I try to stay relevant in the present. Try not to get too ahead of myself in terms of future plans that may or may not involve significant others and children. 

I usually end up talking about how much I enjoyed that wedding I just attended but I would NOT want a bouquet toss like that and I think my dress should DEFINITELY be A-line but really you know buffet tables are THE WAY to go because the simpler the choices the better and..... I've done it again. I've gone off the deep end into what I'd like to call "single lady twilight zone" aka planning your entire future without a man. So I immediately cover myself with "...YA KNOW if I were GETTING married cuz honestly if I don't it's okay. I'm just... saying. *shrugs*"

And then I see a cute baby and start to think "oh I really love the name Ethan... But honestly I'd really like a girl and I would definitely name her Charlotte... Because really CLASSIC names are the ones that get my children job interviews and Cornell is a very. good. university....." and I'm off again! In my head i have a family of 6 and pets. I know where we live and I know how I dress my children but again I cover it with "...YA KNOW whenever I have children and honestly it's okay if I don't cuz it's really... Ya know what it's just really God's TIMING for my life and he is writing my ROMANCE NOVEL and I hope it has a sex life like 50 Shades." (<---- blech.)

We can't help it. I feel like a woman's nature is to think ahead in her life. I give credit to my single life for keeping me in the present because it is so possible that I already know my children's names (I do.) and what I want my wedding colors to be (yep. got that too). I also think that single people delude themselves into saying "oh it's okay if all this doesn't happen..." but if we're being honest... I'll be really sad. I feel like motherhood is in my future. But I can't just straight up PREDICT my own future. Did I ever see myself going to OLIVET by CHOICE?! Hail no! It takes an insane amount of wholehearted trust in God that he's got you... So  when something happens beyond your imagining you are truly awed and thankful. I hold onto that. : )

a fellow single lady

This is a great post on the Christian girl and the single life. I found myself saying "OH MY GOODNESS YOU GET IT" multiple times. 

Read it. Jus' do it.  

Single Lady Talks Real

tattoo this somewhere.

how to SLW

You don't have to be single to have a Single Lady Wednesday. It doesn't even have to be Wednesday to have one. For me it's become a verb. Oh hay gurl what are you up to? I'm just SLW-ing it up. No bigz.

I thought I would tell you how I start my Single Lady Wednesday's off right.

First? Sleep til forever. Just do it. Get a baby sitter, forget to set your alarm, draw the blinds and sleep. It's your day off! You don't answer to any one.

Next? Watch Ina Garten at 11:30. I have found it's good for the soul to watch her make things that look like they came straight from Heaven itself. You haven't even eaten breakfast yet. You're just chillin with a blanket with Ina Garten's many button up shirts probably made by a collaboration between Yves Saint Laurent and L.L. Bean.

OH. How could I forget...  You are pants-less. You don't wear pants! Don't you do it! Unless you live with a parent that is home you can certainly do without pants for a few hours. It's conducive to the environment - the MENTALITY - of SLW. Trust me. You're already in the mood.

don't worry about the dark chocolate almonds, which you should totally get. Let's be honest I waited too late to eat and now I'm starving so these are what I munch on while cooking haha

Next step... Breakfast. Yes I realize that it's now 12 noon but my first meal of the day... I always call it breakfast. I don't know what it is but lazing around and then getting in the kitchen makes me so happy. I don't care what I'm making, from cranberry lemon oatmeal with almonds and brown sugar to a french toast bagel with cream cheese and maple sausage, I really enjoy making breakfast for myself on a Wednesday. My mother, bless her, will make a large pot of coffee for us in the morning and leave the rest to cool because I like it iced. Which leads me to my next step...

Single Lady Coffee.

It is a mix of Starbucks coffee and the Pioneer Woman's Vietnamese coffee recipe. It tastes like the creamiest white chocolate mocha you've ever had. I use:

• Starbucks Willow Blend - freshly ground that morning.... obviously by my mother *sigh* double blessings on her
• Evaporated milk (the best kept secret in the world)
• Sweetened condensed milk - 2 tablespoons
• 8 ice cubes (every time! i don't know it's just muscle memory now)
• a red striped straw - I'm not paying for an overpriced cup of Starbucks! I don't need an iconic green straw to make me feel like I'm having a cup of something significant. These well priced straws make me feel super fancy. Without pants. 
• a giant. cup. coincidentally from Starbucks. I can't help that they make a good mug. They were totes on sale, girl. 

Then I usually I contemplate what to do with the rest of my day - if I'm to have an adventure it will be decided right after breakfast. In today's case I may or may not have gone BACK to bed after battling whether or not to drive to get sushi (this is the longest craving I've ever had - 3 months!). In my defense I work til midnight every Tuesday and last night was apparently a lot of moving and shaking cuz it was all I could do but crawl back to my blankets and catch more single lady z's. Beauty rest and all that.

Here's to many more pants-less days, day long adventures, and lots and LOTS... of coffee.

Happy Wednesday!