Wednesday, September 12, 2012

SLW: the future's present

This SLW I'm actually working - womp waaaa - so I'm trying to soak up my off time by reading every techie blog there is for a few. Thank God for the notes app on my phone; I can write whenever inspiration hits. Happy Wednesday!
As a single girl I try to stay relevant in the present. Try not to get too ahead of myself in terms of future plans that may or may not involve significant others and children. 

I usually end up talking about how much I enjoyed that wedding I just attended but I would NOT want a bouquet toss like that and I think my dress should DEFINITELY be A-line but really you know buffet tables are THE WAY to go because the simpler the choices the better and..... I've done it again. I've gone off the deep end into what I'd like to call "single lady twilight zone" aka planning your entire future without a man. So I immediately cover myself with "...YA KNOW if I were GETTING married cuz honestly if I don't it's okay. I'm just... saying. *shrugs*"

And then I see a cute baby and start to think "oh I really love the name Ethan... But honestly I'd really like a girl and I would definitely name her Charlotte... Because really CLASSIC names are the ones that get my children job interviews and Cornell is a very. good. university....." and I'm off again! In my head i have a family of 6 and pets. I know where we live and I know how I dress my children but again I cover it with "...YA KNOW whenever I have children and honestly it's okay if I don't cuz it's really... Ya know what it's just really God's TIMING for my life and he is writing my ROMANCE NOVEL and I hope it has a sex life like 50 Shades." (<---- blech.)

We can't help it. I feel like a woman's nature is to think ahead in her life. I give credit to my single life for keeping me in the present because it is so possible that I already know my children's names (I do.) and what I want my wedding colors to be (yep. got that too). I also think that single people delude themselves into saying "oh it's okay if all this doesn't happen..." but if we're being honest... I'll be really sad. I feel like motherhood is in my future. But I can't just straight up PREDICT my own future. Did I ever see myself going to OLIVET by CHOICE?! Hail no! It takes an insane amount of wholehearted trust in God that he's got you... So  when something happens beyond your imagining you are truly awed and thankful. I hold onto that. : )

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