Inspired by social media and thought catalog. CAN EVERYONE LIKE THIS WEBSITE WITH ME ALREADY?! geeeeze.
1. Degrading ourselves while also fishing for compliments (see: humble brag, which can also die)
No one wants you to see you jokingly say stuff like that. It's not cute... there wasn't ever a time where it WAS cute. Frankly, it's making me hate you. If you can't muster up a genuine like about yourself then for goodness sake KEEP IT OFF THE TWITTERS.
Guys it's time. It's been time. They need to be banned and burned in effigy. Somehow it's trickled past normal use to be exclusively used by all of the big girls of the world and ALL of the extremely under aged. I'm thinking about holding a relief concert for it... ya know... to support my fund to RELIEVE THE WORLD OF LEGGINGS. Everyone just thinks they're pants. Everyone is still wrong.
3. Saying things we don't mean
Feel free to stop here and ponder all possible meanings of this. Grab some mid afternoon tea while you ponder this and come back... I've got a couple more.
4. Thinking about YOU.
Listen to me here. You matter, you're not insignificant, you are an integral part of life and I'm so glad you're in it, BUT it's not about you all the time. So stop tweeting about you. And thinking about JUST you. And how all roads and what she said and that one time ALL PERTAINED TO YOU. Maybe, instead, try genuinely listening without adding a story about how that ALSO happened to you one time except it was woooorse? and funnier? It'll suck but be beneficial for your character in the future.
...was that last one too real? Sometime's a girl needs to just SAY some stuff. Don't worry... My love for you is real, too, and I plan on hugging you at the end of this. Let's continue.
5. Vine. I'm really over the Vine app. and for that matter all of Facebook. It just needed to be added for good measure
6. Hollow optimism
You know how things suck sometimes but you don't want to wallow in it so you say, "Yeah, but it'll be okay." or "It'll work out... no yeah it's fine." but even you don't believe the words that just came out of your mouth? Just stop doing that. Take action instead. Open up and tell someone what's going on in your life - I bet they genuinely want to help you. Reintroduce yourself to good music, reacquaint yourself with God and just decide to BE happy instead of saying an empty cliche to get people off your back.
I don't even have a lead out for this one haha... I'm just gonna have to-- *drops the mic, walks out*