hollywood swingin!

Good mornin' all... it's 7:40... about 4 hours too early to be awake right now... but alas here i am at Eden Salon and Spa workin at this early hour... did Jesus ever sleep in late when he was on the earth? I just... i mean quick thought thats all...

I've been "Edenized" meaning they attacked my eyebrows finally and gave me a scalp treatment. I think this quote from Ever After sums it up quite nice:
"You look like a girl!"
"That's what I am half-wit!"
"Yeah but today you LOOK it!"
"Girl OR boy I can still whip you!" - that was all from memory *taps head* from me ooold noggin!

I just figured out that coffee does not agree with me at this unearthly early hour... i learned that i CAN use the make-up whilst no one is around... and that i can also post on the internet too haha

I'm dealing with SallieMae at the present (not RIGHT now just at the present)... i finally figured out how to talk to a dang PERSON on the phone.. before they reroute you to India and THEY take your call. But i have deferrment all settled I just have to fax them a letter. I took a survey after i was finished on the phone yesterday and they said *in monotonous automated phone voice* "Based on your survey we have a lot of room to improve!" yes. here's a tip. Stop being in the loan business. People will LOVE you.

I'm going to gush about Psych for a quick second (a nail tech just arrived). I freaking LOVE that show!!! For anyone who enjoys mildly attractive really funny guys that makes them even more attractive WATCH PSYCH. that's all i got haha

Alright for realios i gotta go. we have a spa party comin in today... and... we are an elite spa :0)

whatwhaat whaaat??

Hey. Happy new year! Sorry for not posting in like 80 ages. (mhmm ages.)

Mango Dum-Dums are my new favorite dum-dum flavor. Everyone EVERYONE should try them.

So i think it's time for a spiritual update. I haven't given one in a good while.

So recently or... i don't know for a WHILE my pastor has been talking about getting serious in your relationship with God. And if we're shooting for honesty here mine has been more than lacking in like... every area you can think of... Times are getting rough and there is no more time to be in between ya know? just be one thing or the other love God or don't. I was tired of being on the fence about life in general so I just decided to jump in head first.

The first week was alright. I read my Bible, I prayed and did devotions and I felt better but I still felt like i hadn't made a connection. So at church this past sunday he prayed again about getting your life right with God. He said a lot of people don't like Christians because they're such hypocrites, which is true. We claim to love God but we're not obedient. Our actions definitely trump our words. You can say you love God all you want but until you stop being an idiot and just listen (prime example? me) this relationship you claim to have is fake. Really really a bunch of fake.

On saturday my mom and i went to the contemporary night service we have which was all about surrender. people spoke about what they were involved in some of it was crazy serious and some of it just seemed normal. so i'm sitting there and all of a sudden music comes into my head. Like... i'm supposed to surrender music TO God. I kind of freaked out a lot. But then i realized why it was put there. I turn to music in times of trouble. I can honestly say that I don't turn to God. I like... put that off... and turn on the Weepies. I do that in a heartbeat. I know music is my escape. It IS... it's like... what I connect with and not God. I keep praying for this real relationship with God for this true desire to know him and grow and actually listen to his voice and I have this pretty tangible relationship with music standing in my way.

So... I prayed the last few nights hoping that it wasn't God that told me to give up music haha... i would gladly give up all starchy food in order to know God better... i am definitely ok with giving up processed food... drinking only water... not watching MTV anymore... to get closer to God just NOT music. I also don't know if I'm supposed to just... get rid of it ALL or just the secular stuff or just cut out the radio... i don't know. but it hasn't gone away in a few days which is kind of confirming it.

if i weren't me... and i knew me... and i was talking about this... i'd think i was crazy. but in the grand scheme of things... am i really gonna choose listening to Ingrid Michaelson over having a real relationship with God and not being a hypocrite anymore? the answer is crystal clear isn't it...

Psalm 4:8 *snores*

the title of this blog is what happens every night when I put on my confession cd and go to bed. I try to repeat them in bed and the first one is Psalm 4:8 - "I will lie down in peace and sleep for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe" and I get to Psalm 4:8 - "I will lie down......." and i'm done. haha I use them to help me sleep faster and BOY does it work. 

Things have been pretty ok lately. I committed to reading the Bible because it saves your life. It IS your life so... why would you NOT read it. And so far good things have occurred. I started interning at church designing. I'm not getting paid but that's ok. I'm designing and WOW it feels good. I rekindled my relationship with the patch, stamp and healing brush... yes. I am in a love square with 3 tools on Photoshop. a SQUARE.

I also may have a job! My aunt works at a salon and spa and they need a front desk worker soooo ya know after training i'm really hoping i don't suck at that! plus it's MONEY and having not spent a CENT since... November... it'll feel good to... buy gas and... buy a 40 cent burrito just cuz i'm crazy about cheap mexican food... haha

Moldy pennies really smell. My car flooded like 2 weeks ago and the carpets are STILL drying out and it started to... smelllll a little bit and i realized a) carpets are still wet because MATS are still wet and b) pennies that got splashed with water have now MOLDED over... and smell. LIFE. haha

Well thats me for now. And no i'm not posting at church/work/not really work. 

i am SUCKING at this comp!! bah!

heartache come again no more

Question for all you who read this...

Did 2008 just SUCK for all of you, or was it just me?

This year sucked it UP! From January to December there was a fair amount of pain, sweat, tears and blood. 

January = depression

February = Stupidity

March = 65 hours in one room CONTINUOUSLY

April = everything fell APART and some... fell together... JANKILY.

May = ok may was fine. graduation, job, birthday. LOVE.

June = finally determined everything was REALLY over. things fell further apart

July = boredom, favortism against me, distance

August = NOOOO JOOOOB. *giant stamp sound*  MORE stupidity (not from me), incessant tiredness, learned to hate the town of Elgin

September = hopeful, searching, more stupidity not from me

October = less hopeful, searching

November = not hopeful, searching

December = panicked, out of everything, searching, crying, praying, laying in bed.

No one was more happy to see 2008 go than me... I wished it well, kicked it out, shook my fist at it in anger and slammed the door in its face. 

Apparently others have the same feelings.

So I say how bout 2009 be AWESOME. Last year was SO bad... horrible transitioning... stupid STUPID people. How about this be a year of... settling down a little bit, forgiveness, remembering that the presence of fear is a lack of trust in God then working on turning that around. How about committing to God, committing to change, committing not letting this year be bad.

I'm ready. *does an I'm Ready dance*