i am a fan of steady rain.
So. my polka dotted double golf sized double paneled wind pocketted umbrella and I set off down the road in the steady rain. I put on my rain soundtrack which is actually the Amelie soundtrack and i was right... as rain. seriously. next time you find yourself with the option of walking in the rain do it. and find a good Putumayo Presents CD and just revel in the rain. I didn't think about anything except twirling my umbrella and avoiding puddles that could swallow me whole and just... was. I'm never just there often so it's always a good feeling and its ALWAYS in the rain.
work today wasn't bad! it was actually good... i took control. haha taking control of a day is way better than getting SWALLOWED in it. the rain helped :0) i swear its God materialized sometimes especially soft steady rain.
i'm tired of getting swallowed. its a daily struggle to lift myself out. i don't know what to do anymore so i become recluse. no eye contact no words. i draw into myself. and yet it still hurts. putting myself out there hurts not doing anything at all hurts... doing just a LITTLE hurts. can anyone find the happy medium between hurt and not cuz i'm desperately searching DAILY.
it seems the adventure i'm on is just. daily life.