Wednesday, July 3, 2013

SLW: someone mentioned you on the internet...

And I got sweaty. Even my hands started to sweat. I twitched, I sniffed, I scratched my neck. Then I scratched my head. My eyes shift left to right and right to left as I scrolled, possessed, reading the mention over and over - clicking away, coming back like a shameful dog and reading it again.

Then I got mad. I got incensed. I got outraged. I cursed your name. I texted my friend. She sided with me.

My heart beat fast like I just ran somewhere. My breath came in thin rasps. My vision wouldn't focus.

I'm perfect without you I just can't stand anything WITH you.

Am I over you? Is the question I skirt around as I drum up every instance of your stupidity. Your immaturity. Your inability to not be a self centered person.

Am I over you? looms on the edge of my periphery. When I look straight at it, it disappears, but it's always pressing, creeping closer, looming larger.

I wrote this forever ago, when this actually happened. I get weirded out sharing half thoughts... quick blurbs of thought cuz they're not finished and polished and don't have a resolved ending that sounds a bit like 'it'll all work out in the end' or '...and then I saw a cloud shaped like a heart and now things are better.' I can't say this is 'raw' writing it's just... unfinished. That's cool right?

I plan on... grossly over eating tomorrow. *nods* yep. Happy 4th to you!

1 comment:

  1. So good, so much different than your usual SLW's. I dig it. Takes a lot of cajones to share deeply personal writing. :) excited to see you soon!



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