I used to carry the weight of the world...

"but now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly..."

So the past few days have been interesting. Just... I don't know just interesting. My mom and I were talking about friends and how you expect so much out of them and when they don't meet them you feel like it's YOUR fault. My pastor says your closest relationships have to be with people you feel like you can share your most RANDOM thoughts with and at the same time share about God and help each other spiritually. How many people can really say they have that person in their life? And how many are still looking for it? Yeah that's totally my hand in the air.

I do have a friend like that. She is in graduate school and forever busy (she's gonna be a doctor) and I don't see her as often as I want to but when we do see each other it's like we just met up yesterday. The conversation flows easily. We talk about the most random things like why we didn't get hired at Argo Tea or our relationship with God and it's usually the highlight of my whole day.

I guess I'm looking for a friend like that that I can see more often. I mean don't get me wrong I have friends but... I'm placed into a certain type of friend. Comic reliever. Advice giver. Random... hanger outer. Consoler. Listener. I love being all those things and I love all my friends I adapt to their personalities and accept them but they don't adapt to mine.

So I knit. I knit a lot. Most people find that really antiquated and boring but I freakin LOVE it. I make cute stuff... without reindeer and snowflakes... I mean things that people want. but most people don't... really care. I just am tired of people being selfish (omg especially today don't get me started.) and self centered and while I realize that is truly the norm now I'm pretty done with it. Yeah I'm 22 just getting started with life but I've been through enough to at least know what I want out of a friendship. Is that too much to ask? Can ya stop with all the bull? It's not about you. GET OVER IT. for realz. with a z.

Anway, things are progressing well here at work but I am really starting to miss designing. I don't want to lose skills. I'm saving for a computer so I'm not just floating until I get a job in my field. I miss fonts GAH I miss fonts! I miss having direction and projects. But I'll get there soon. Every opportunity is a stepping stone for something greater, and I am really looking forward to that day.