we made it! yaaaaay!

I did it! And there was no cardiac arrest, anaphylactic shock or cutting of lvad wires or NOTHIN'

and i'm proud of myself. i'm OVER IT! I'M OVER ITI'MOVERITI'MOVERIT!!!! THANK YOU GOD I'M OVER IT!

what DO i like about you?

I finished my scarf! I'm just so excited and I wanted to tell... no one in particular so i posted here haha. i'll put a picture up soon. It's kind of vintage-y. It's a grass green (not celadon, not kelly, not moss) deep double rib called the Cartridge stitch with black satin bows at the ends. I feel like it should be worn with a cute trench coat and a cloche. So if I ever sell my designs one day I will specify how they are to wear it ;0)

I'm also starting these SWEET sleeves (super large... arm warmers) made out of Kidsilk Haze and its like... knitting a whisper. Seriously it's messed up but it'll be so pretty. The OTHER bad thing is somehow my knitting needles are the EXACT same color as the yarn. I don't know how that happened it was the only pair they had and it just turns out that they're the same color. So... you're knitting invisible fluffy whispers. Sweet. It'll turn out ok... 'specially since I painted one needle silver so I could SEE.

Did I tell you I like knitting? I do. Totally do.

I used to carry the weight of the world...

"but now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly..."

So the past few days have been interesting. Just... I don't know just interesting. My mom and I were talking about friends and how you expect so much out of them and when they don't meet them you feel like it's YOUR fault. My pastor says your closest relationships have to be with people you feel like you can share your most RANDOM thoughts with and at the same time share about God and help each other spiritually. How many people can really say they have that person in their life? And how many are still looking for it? Yeah that's totally my hand in the air.

I do have a friend like that. She is in graduate school and forever busy (she's gonna be a doctor) and I don't see her as often as I want to but when we do see each other it's like we just met up yesterday. The conversation flows easily. We talk about the most random things like why we didn't get hired at Argo Tea or our relationship with God and it's usually the highlight of my whole day.

I guess I'm looking for a friend like that that I can see more often. I mean don't get me wrong I have friends but... I'm placed into a certain type of friend. Comic reliever. Advice giver. Random... hanger outer. Consoler. Listener. I love being all those things and I love all my friends I adapt to their personalities and accept them but they don't adapt to mine.

So I knit. I knit a lot. Most people find that really antiquated and boring but I freakin LOVE it. I make cute stuff... without reindeer and snowflakes... I mean things that people want. but most people don't... really care. I just am tired of people being selfish (omg especially today don't get me started.) and self centered and while I realize that is truly the norm now I'm pretty done with it. Yeah I'm 22 just getting started with life but I've been through enough to at least know what I want out of a friendship. Is that too much to ask? Can ya stop with all the bull? It's not about you. GET OVER IT. for realz. with a z.

Anway, things are progressing well here at work but I am really starting to miss designing. I don't want to lose skills. I'm saving for a computer so I'm not just floating until I get a job in my field. I miss fonts GAH I miss fonts! I miss having direction and projects. But I'll get there soon. Every opportunity is a stepping stone for something greater, and I am really looking forward to that day.

warning sign

Since starting at Eden I've realized I enjoy working with people. You get all sorts of personality types, quirks, quips, other things that start with "qu-" It's fun dealing with the nice ones... not so much dealing with the snooty ones, but I pray over the clients that walk in beforehand and so far I have not been cursed out! (which I can't say about other g.c's) so that's great.

It's a little difficult dealing with the kooky personalities haha. There was a Jewish princess who really... enjoys... talking about... *breathes in* everything private. And an... otherwise pursuaded couple who... likes checkin out girls as they walk into the shop. I mean you kinda wanna go "oooooo....." haha that's not the way to approach things. They haven't spewed pea soup at you or anything. Their head only reaches a 90 degree angle at most. No need for comments. But I can hope that being in here helps though. Highlight that JUST happened though? Three words. Fire. Safety. Inspection. :0)

I met with a friend yesterday for lunch, hadn't seen her for a while. I can honestly say that graduating with totally change you. She is the type of person who has a concrete plan for life. After graduation is SUPER shifty changy nothing is really... set it's kinda like living in Jell-O for a good 6 months to a year. So instead of wading through the Jell-O like a pro she goes comPLETELY backwards. It's almost like her entire identity is changing because she doesn't have a set plan. It's crazy how a change thats out of your control will change who you are... who you CAN control. BAH life.