Tuesday, May 27, 2008

love is a house and you got the key!

Have you ever tried narrating your life as a book?


Explanation time! okay so see... I like to read... and usually it comes in bursts of reading love and then not so much (kind of like knitting) but i've been on a reading kick lately mostly cuz i don't have a tv (but i do now! WHOO) and i find myself like... narrating.. things? yeah is that slightly creepy? no. not if you're a reader haha all i do is add ", says Abby in a haughty slightly condescending tone." its not so creepy... even ever so slightly at all. at all. *shrugs* i just like books ok? haha

in other news i am officially finished with the Aurora yearbook... FOREVER. *insert giant sigh here* as much... blood sweat and tears literally went into this whole 2 year process of life and sometimes wasted time i am SO ready to be done with it! well i mean i AM done with it so... iii'm glad i was ready? I'm glad i learned from the HORRIBLENESS that was last year and i'm glad i got to produce something so gorgeous (its my child. don't take that away from me! what if i was unable to have children??? ok too far... bringin it back.) and it was worth all the crap that went down... sometimes... but... yay for closure. haha i swear its the one thing people are always looking for and when you get it... you don't actually believe you have it. 

spiritual update! (its like the weather report... no? no.) i'm still definitely working on forgiveness in all areas of my life. it stretches farther than... i could have imagined... i said before that with reading it comes and goes? thats how i feel about my spiritual life sometimes... like ohhhhhhmygoshisoooooloveGooood... and then other times its like... i don't feel like getting into the Word or my devotions tonight. OR why can't i forgive easier? God forgives us 490 times a DAY... haha i think i could lend a couple people forgiveness... Can anyone tell me why is that? 
I just heard a message about being bold the other day... handing out tracts to people on the street. It's just a piece of paper that you give to them... they can choose to read it or not read it... and it's one of the most gut wrenching things you do... the awesome thing is God made you bold... not boldness comes in time God formed you... to be bold. Boldness is instilled in us its part of our make-up as a person. So us NOT being bold... though it may seem like its not a choice us not choosing boldness makes us cowardice because thats WHAT we are! BOLD! I just find that to be really cool...
and in thinking about that why can't i get on board? why is there this burning desire to know God to want to get closer in my walk with Him and other times i feel like it's being put out or like i have ZERO will power in any aspect of my life starting with my spiritual life? does anyone else ever feel like that?
It's getting late and i should finish what i was doing... 
what am i gonna WEAR tomorrow? and i started a scarf :0)

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