Adventures!

I've been commissioned! For food that is. I'm making a friend's wedding cheesecake (CHEESECAKE) for her impending nuptials this weekend and I am exCITED. I can't even fully talk about it... I just keep smiling and nodding and showing people THIS PICTURE of the tester cheesecake. and then smiling and nodding. Such is my life.

Bacon caramel chocolate cheesecake that shouldn't make sense but it does. It makes ALL of the sense that has ever been made ever. This should be it's own category really.

Can you tell I'm slightly excited?? I'll update with how everything turns out after Saturday.

Here's to new adventures!

Single Lady Talks Real II

Respect yourself enough to be well satisfied with how you look when you leave the house. If it means you HAVE to shower then you need to get up earlier. I don't always shower daily - who does... DON'T JUDGE - but you will never EVER know it. If I'm running to get something from the store, even if I'm out for 5 minutes, put on skinny jeans not sweatpants, earrings not a hoodie.

Do your hair. WASH your hair at least. Your limp noodle greasy high school zero period hair no longer cuts it as a lady in the real world. 

Not a huge make-up fan? I totes am NOT. But! Tinted lip balm is a thing that is awesome. Heck VASELINE works as lip gloss. Just do it. 

Know these things and have them in your arsenal of power. They'll never fail you.

You deserve to be respected. Respect yourself. 

is it okay that i think having an arsenal of power is thing that needs to be real? yeah... 

(the only acceptable time I've found running out in pj's is okay is for emergency ice cream. EMERGENCY. ICE CREAM. is REAL.)

SLW does shopping

Sometimes you just have to get yourself up, get yourself to Starbucks in spite of the sky looking like it's going to rain down terrible things on you and GO SHOPPING. Turns out I'm REALLY good at shopping too. I got all sorts of unnecessary but DEFINITELY necessary goodness.

Like...

...the worlds most perfect mustard yellow cardigan known to man. Thank you Arissa for your infinite widsom.

...a shake... from Godiva chocolate. Yeah... next to the chocolate covered strawberries and behind the champagne truffles they make SHAKES. You know what I think they put in it?  HEAVEN. 

...Well this one is fuzzy because I walked into Paper Source and I BLACKED OUT. And I woke up outSIDE of Paper Source with a giant bag of things. I'm gonna leave it at that. 

......the same thing happened at Sur La Table! Wouldn't you just know it.........

... I decided not to get anything from Lush because their sales people are all up in your face! What's up with that... even at MY job we don't do that. I get that your bucket smells like ROSES but please. Back up off. I think if I had a tub that was big enough for baths I'd like it more. 

check that cardigan action!

All in all it was a good, MUCH NEEDED day.

Happy Wednesday!

p.s. - I wore my blazer today! I mean WHAT!? I had on jade green pants and a BLAZER. Who am I?!
p.p.s. - I need to change my girls clothes up there. It is NOT tank top weather anymore...

What to do when you have to poop at Target

1. You ignore it. You keep walking, picking up that knitted throw blanket with interest. There is no urge. I don't even know what poop IS.

2. You start running through aisles knocking everything into your cart that you think you need, but have totally forgotten cuz all you can think is that you need to poop. "I HAVE TO GET EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. AND TAKE IT HOME. DO I NEED THESE DOG TREATS?! I DON'T HAVE A DOG BUT I'M GONNA GET THEM. *keeps running* JUST GET IT IN MY HOUSE AND RUN TO THE BATHROOM."

3. You stop randomly in the middle of aisles, just WILLING your intestines to not feel what they're feeling.

4. You justify it. You're a grown woman. THIS is a NATURAL part of LIFE for Pete's sake! You walk briskly to the bathroom before you poop your pants because this is an actual thing that may happen at any moment.

5. When another woman walks in and does the same thing you think, "I don't judge you. We are kindred. We are HUMANS. This is natural. HUZZAH TO YOU."

6. You continue shopping leisurely, contemplating whether or not to get BOTH colors of washi tape. And you do... you do.

** this may or not be a real story based off my life

SLW: grey days

I am READY for today. The past week has just been customers yelling at me because I can't MAKE an iPhone from scratch to give to them and lots and LOTS of things to fix. It ended with me lying face down on my living room floor. Adult temper tantrums are real guys. They're SUCH a thing.

Today is a quintessential Chicago fall day. Grey skies and the trees have officially turned all my favorite colors. Though if the trees could turn mint green I would really enjoy that...

Today is...

...a day to lay in bed and play Bejeweled until you can actually feel your stomach eating itself.

...a day for a large cup of coffee... only to pour that cup into a LARGER cup of coffee. and pour more coffee into that larger cup

...a day for Rainbow Cake (I will have to break down the anatomy of this cake) AND ice cream. For breakfast. VALIDATED.

...a day for TARGET. To browse the aisles slowly, not looking for anything in particular. Except maybe more things from Patch NYC. 

...a day to listen to the church bells that play 20 feet from my apartment at 12 and 6 every day. It makes me feel like I'm in a movie - it CAN'T be real right? 

...a day to find Diary of a Mad Black Woman on tv and sincerely enjoy watching all of it unabashedly. I'm not even a little bit ashamed!

...a day to listen to my Temper Trap & Passion Pit playlist on shuffle all day long. 

...a day just to take some quiet time for yourself... when the entire week has just been one long yell. And remembering to be thankful always. 



Happy Wednesday everyone! Slow down just for like 5 minutes today. Have popcorn for dinner. No one's judging!

p.s. if you follow me on Twitter sorry for all the yelling gripes this week. Was I kidding about the adult tantrums? I was not. It's a new day though : )