SLW: "It happens when you least expect it!" and other sayings that make you want to punch your friends in the face.

I think we've all gotten advice from friends and family perking us up about our perpetual state of singleness:

"...Plenty of fish...!" (dot com)
"It happens when you aren't looking!"
"When you LEAST expect it then you'll meet the perfect man!"

Okay, I don't want it to seem like I am ungrateful for the genuinely heartfelt advice given by good friends when when is this advice ever gonna EVOLVE!? I find my self in the middle of my day asking "Am I least expecting it NOW??" and "I wasn't looking so does that mean NOW?!" like gauging myself on how LITTLE I expected my future husband to walk through the door made for a successful day! Seriously...

Being single is fine and dandy when trying to man it alone but look or feel the least bit lonely and the age old adages are drug from the closet like they're clinically proven to work. Guess what 4 out of 5 doctors say??? I DON'T CARE. Sometimes you're just over THINKING about being single without your grandma asking you when you're gonna give her more grandkids. It's tiring and frustrating.

I wonder if we just told the truth to our single girlfriends when we walk up to you all dewey eyed saying "I'm lonely." I wonder what would happen. Being brutally honest usually isn't in people's nature, even if brutal honesty is needed, that phrase becomes a cushion I think. Like you have a friend that ends up with the wrong guy every time and desperately NEEDS to stop looking, in our nervousness we shout out "LEAST EXPECT IT!" I'm really trying to give you married friends the benefit of the doubt here, your intentions are good I just know it. : )

The fact of the matter is...
"It's just not time yet and when it is you'll meet. You and I have NO idea when that time is so don't waste yours trying to figure out when it IS time. Let it go and live your life in the meantime. If you ever get lonely do not drown yourself in food. That is a real bit of advice for you. Take up crafting. It's pretty great. Let's hug it out."

That's the friend way of saying "GET OVER IT!!! You're awesome so move on." Ya know? Tell this to me next week when I'm upset because everyone on Facebook just got married but you understand what I'm saying. And then we'll bake cupcakes together cuz you yelled at me. I'm sensitive!

Is this a doable thing? Things DO happen when you're not thinking about them so, yes, thank you, friends for the advice, but let's bring this into the 21st century hmm?? Love you guys on the real though.