honest to blog?

the past few days have been wonderful and i'd just enjoooy sharin'

today i went to a bridal shower and was actually social. i have a hard time with being social its happened like that my whole life. i feel like if i don't have plans for the weekend i'm obviously a loser. since this happens 99.9999999997 percent of the time i obviously feel loserish. tonight was a bit of a stretch and i enjoyed it. bridal shower gifts are the BEST... including the MINTY ky TINGLING warming gel hahaha. i also made tortellini tonight... i'm impressed with my OWN self! AND my friend maggie gave me an AWESOME gift of tea pot shaped cookies and a tea-for-one teapot and mug!!! i cried... and a cd (stars! whoo!) and a dvd... it was SO unexpected and awesome! i finally found some friends! PTL y'all ptl haha

in other news i walked home in the rain last night listening to the Amelie soundtrack. is that not the most romantic thing you've ever heard? it was such a peaceful rain and i just enjoyed it so much... i wish i could have stayed out forever. i cleared my head and just... relaxed. i also watched all of the episodes of Miss Guided on ABC online with my roommate. good show! watch it!

the day before that was good but i don't remember why... haha it was just a good mood day! oh i remember! in the morning i went to Jewel and bought grapes and pistachios (two of my favorite foods) and treated myself to a lunch of sweet and sour chicken and a dessert of rangoons :) i was alone and enjoyed being alone it was an amazing feeling.

new realization! i have recently started dealing with a lot of issues in my life and am beginning to see myself in a new light. i am starting to embrace the fact that i am single and will be for some time and i really want to enjoy it! i am also getting more into the Bible more and devotions and its to the point where i have bad days without talking to God (i mean obviously) and i'm just more peaceful and happy... i'm still working on things like my relationship with my dad. i'm learning to forgive him before actually moving on to a healthy relationship with him. i really want to have a strong relationship with God and i feel like i'm finally getting help and moving forward and becoming a young woman finally. i'm also trying to work on the weight too... i started taking vitamins and i just need to work on walking more like around the block n stuff... if anyone feels like joining? come on with me. this week as stressful as it potentially could have been was really nice. cept tuesday was bad... really bad but its better now! it stopped being so dang gloomy haha