my two halves

I PROMISE the next post will be Sarah's wedding! puh-romise.

I'm sure you've heard me talk about being an introvert before (see: Renegade Adventures, or How I'm Awkward) and how it hinders and helps some things. Well, I think I'm realizing how much of an EXTROVERT I am now. I have both personalities on the inside. It comes from my mom who is both extroverted and introverted at the same time as well. How is that possible? Shouldn't they cancel each other out and you just end up... "normal?" Yeah it's not the case.

I'm extroverted when it's BUSY. I work at a place that launches a new, high demand, state of the art products approximately every 6 months to a year give or take and when that happens our store is just wall to wall PEOPLE. I call busy "when i can't see the front of the store" that was the last couple days. Turns out? I LOVE IT. It feeds whatever extroverted nature is inside me. I end up running circles around co-workers who are invested in "slowing down the conversation." Secret? I still suck at slowing down a conversation! I'm all hit it and quit it (way less derogatory though), get you what you need, i WILL hug you, and get out. Works the BEST on busy days. I'm excited, YOU'RE excited, all God's children be EXCITED.

I NETWORKED at work on Saturday. Okay networking for me is a scary, sometimes stupid thing in my mind. You essentially walk up to a stranger to use them for their services and vice versa and really never develop a relationship with them. I'm opposite. I'd rather walk up to you tell you look nice and or strike up some kind of intelligent conversation (cuz otherwise I won't say anything to you - i'm so bad at chit chat!) and THEN make a barter deal of some sort. Back to Saturday. I talk to a million people, turns out he's a designer, we exchanged info (business intro ZING!) and he asked if I knew Photoshop. The end! And I didn't even REALIZE that's what I did until he left and i was like 'WHAAAAAAAT' *own mind blown* then I had to take a break and process things out haha and THAT is where the introverted side of me comes into play.

In situations where people would react in an excited way, say meeting a celebrity or getting engaged, I react the opposite. I shut down. Literally, shut. down. because my brain has to make sure everything's okay. It's not necessarily a BAD thing but if you're not used to dealing with introverts it can be... really confusing. I met Taye Diggs last Saturday. Yeah. You heard me. TAYE DIGGS. In the real... chocolatey... holy crap... flesh. My mother decided to tell me before she completely surprised me because she KNEW i'd need to time to pretty much cope - bless her heart. I did. My eyes glazed over and I stopped talking. Then I just started shaking my head no saying I couldn't go. Yeah! that happened! (TAYE DIGGS.) but eventually I pulled it together (it took like an HOUR) and we went to see him. It. was. AWESOME. and THIS happened:

wa-BAM. stare at THAT. holy sheet.

It has taken me a long time to even accept myself for who God made me to be. I'm awkward AND loud. Quiet AND energetic. I mean what am I a walking oxymoron?! But I'm slowly learning how to be the best version of myself (isn't everyone?). annnnd meeting Taye Diggs was like a best life moment EVER. aaaargh! haha

p.s. - this is not a journey into self discovery in any way - cuz that's stupid. I'm defined by God and not people but for a long time i wasn't vocal and had NO idea i was outgoing at all. i had a good chance of becoming a recluse when i was younger so this is good!