Sunday, September 18, 2011

my lesson learned

oh man. life. have i got a story for you guys.

So every Saturday I usually get gas from Speedway after my 10pm close at the store. I drive to Speedway, totally get an $0.89 slushie (cherry limeade/sour apple = SO. GROOD.), and gas up. Today I decided that I was hungry except that I wasn't. I go inside and walk past all the chippy goodness and sweet confectionary evil to the PIZZA. That's right, folks. I got GAS STATION PIZZA. I'm so ashamed of myself. It looked and smelled so good! It's in there... turning round and round... showing it's naughty bits and cheesy awesomeness and all of a sudden you're nodding like the idea is new! *nods* "yeahhh! yeah i'm gonna get PIZZA! this is gonna be AMAZING!!! look at it! look at the pepperonis!" and then it's in your hand.

if this ever happens to you JUST THROW IT AWAY! the gas station employee's totes know! they know it's HORRIBLE!

I get the pizza (and my slushie... my choices just were not. sound tonight.) and get in line. except everyone in FRONT of me decides that they need to buy cigarette's so it takes like a billion years. While waiting I'm looking at my so-greasy-it's-soaking-through-the-SIX-napkins-on-top-of-it pizza and wondering which habit is ACTUALLY worse, what I'm eating or what they're smoking. I mean seriously it's a toss up. Then my mind's like, "oh man. you got gas station pizza." and finally I pay and my mind is like, "oh man. you just PAID FOR gas station pizza." and then i get in my car and take a bite and my mind is like, "OH MY GOSH. THAT TASTES LIKE CRAP." and you know why? cuz it's gas station pizza. you don't get gas station pizza. you get prepackaged, homogenized, preservatived, SAFE. FOOD. preferably with the suffix of -eetos or -itos at the end of it.

*hangs head in shame*

my stomach heartily thanked me with a quick one, two, down for the count punch and a trip to the bathroom as SOON as i got home. it's what i get. a well deserved punishment.

gas station pizza. it should be a phrase. like, "do you like this dress??" response: "it looks like gas station pizza." it works!

on another note an entire part of my life just ended. which. is. nuts. i'm qualifying what happened as a break up with accompanying break up mix-tape. it's possible i just wanted to make a mix tape. i made it on Spotify! so if you haz you can totally listen to it here. It has a little She & Him, a little Adele (queen of heartbreak. dang that girl just GETS IT), a little BeyoncĂ©, and some dubstep. cuz who doesn't need dubstep in their life?! It doesn't have ALL the break up songs ever made but the ones that have helped me when I need a musical remedy. but for real i'm in the process of healing from a bunch of things that happened that i'm not comfortable talking about. I can truly say I feel myself getting back to the joyful person I am. I like it.

1 comment:

  1. My favorite part of this post? "homogenized, preservarived, safe. food." I was busting up!!!!! I love how I hear your voice telling me this story. Sooooo gooood!!



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