For example today:
It's cleaning day. We have an annual cleaning day before each high holiday of the year because family comes over. We revamped the living room to accommodate the tree and put up like... 4 picture frames. There's lots of Pledge and Fabuloso involved - it's just what we do.
Anyway my mom is just outside my room doing something that involves rugs and cleaning them. She comes into my room and looks at the scratches on the bottom of my door and goes, "Ooh, a dog lived here."
I'm at my computer and turn slowly around, "Mom! I know I have a lot of hair and that I shed but there is NO REASON to call me a dog. I'm gonna clean up! Promise."
My mom looks confused. "Abby! Look at the door. AN ACTUAL DOG used to live here. Why would I call you a dog haha"
"Oh... I thought you were trying to drop a hint that I needed to clean..."
my bad... I mean my mom usually will just SAY clean up not be like 'hey mangy mutt clean your JUNK up!'
or yesterday when my mom told my grandma not to bring food to Thanksgiving dinner because she is getting older and doesn't need to do the brunt of the work. She wants to help so we give her a few things. This year it was macaroni and cheese and sweet potato pies. This is the gist of the conversation she had with my mom.
Grandma: OK, so I'm making a ham for here (meaning her house) and some dressing. Do you need me to bring dressing?
Mom: *giant pause* No, mom that's... we're... we're good.
Grandma: Oh, ok I'm making greens for here and potato salad. Are you makin' potato salad? I could bring the potato salad. Oh I'm makin' sweet potato pies, too. OO! and I'm bringin' the cake right?
Mom: Mom, I'M making the cake... but I mean you can... uh...
NOT ONCE did my Grandma even mention the macaroni which we THOUGHT she was bringing!!! She does this every year. We'll give her a small task so she's not overwhelmed and she like bogarts the menu and brings EVERYTHING. I swear to bob next year she'll break out and be like, "This duck was ON SALE for $0.39 a pound! I just had to get it!" Plus we have this running joke about Peking duck. I don't... actually remember how that started, what it's about or why it's still funny but all three are still goin strong. That's just us.
Tomorrow I'll tell you the story of the mouse... cuz the world needs to know. I'll have to figure out how to write that down it works much better when I tell it. I guess that's the good thing about writing EXACTLY how you talk... eh? eh? right???