antarctica

So I'm watching this documentary on illustrators and graphic designers working together making a project called Serious Play and it really makes you think. 

I wish I had gone to an art school. My life would have been completely different. I probably would have been ripped apart but I might have come back together with my own style you know? 

I don't regret the people I've met the choices I've made but there is always that tiny inkling of... 'what if...' and i'm sure thats everyone. 

I feel like i need a close art partner... someone who doesn't want to compete with you... who doesn't want to secretly rip you off like half the art students at my alma mater and just want to help you grow and you help them grow. I think I could become fast friends with this imaginery perfect person. I don't feel nurtured as an artist I feel coddled like a baby. Like I'm way behind in my art and way ahead in my mind... it's a horrible paradigm

lately i've felt kind of in a floaty place. where i'm not really here nor there about anything not really mad or sad in terms of one topic or the other but i'm starting to get to a certain point:

Lots of people happen to be class A idiots.

You talk they don't listen, help they don't take it, love they don't want it, reach out they pull back. So whats the point? after a while you get tired of reaching, loving, talking, helping. The Bible says people need discipline because they don't understand words. Which is true... someone can tell you 'YOU NEED HELP' all you want but until you discipline your mind into changing... you stay the same. I'm not speaking to one person in particular... and if i was? It wouldn't matter because it wouldn't help. the first jump sets everything in motion. take the jump already JUMP otherwise you end up wih nothing... over... and over... and over again

I've been thru the desert on a horse with no name

So I have a real adventure for ya! I got a car! It's probably the worst ordeal i've been through transaction wise. The payment was smooth but transferring the title was crazy. it probably would have gone relatively smoothly if they had a) told us there were fees up front and b) if we had a lady that understood the complex workings of technology. My dad tracked the time and we got there at 8 and left at aboout 9:15. *nods* I really want to give you a play by play of my experience. I promise you I will never EVER forget it... and in the future I bet i'll be friends with her. 

This! is the jist of my dealings with her... pretty much what she said the entire time. 

8:00 - may i help you? license please? title please? *time slows down* now... what... where do i enter... this here. JUDY! JUDY! I entered... this... but it says... oh I put it in the wrong spot? can i have your social...? *tip.... tap... tap...* 

8:15 - Ok now I need your phone number... mhmm... mhmm 2-3? oh 2-1... JUDY!!! now do i just scroll down? you know i'm new... and they trainin me... you can't be mad just be patient with me...  JUDY!

8:45 - You tryin to mess with me? Cuz i'm new... we aren't in Kane County! I put a C... but it came up Kane! I DID scroll down now Judy don't mess with me! whats your phone number again? 

9:00 - We almost done... theres a light at the end of the tunnel *of HORRIBLENESS* oh ok... exit... i did that! Judy I did that! I gotta get the receipt? oh... sign here... and here... now you know I'm new right? Do you have a job? (yes) did they have to train you? (no.) you're very lucky... cuz i have to be trained... 

by that time i could have lain on the floor and screamed. all day. but i just wanted to leave. and THEN after that giant ordeal they rushed us out of there! HAHA. 

"oh squiggly line in my eye fluid... oh squiggly line."